Yes, Virginia

I enjoy the classic Christmas shows that are sprinkled among the network stations this time of year. I can't decide on a favorite, but it may have to be How the Grinch Stole Christmas. I am always amazed each year that A Charlie Brown Christmas is still on, expecting any time now that it be forced of the airwaves since it quotes scripture. There are very few of the newer shows that I enjoy. I don't see the Shrek Christmas show being a classic nor the one with the Madagascar characters. However, a new show that aired on CBS last week has won a special place in my heart, and I've only watched it once.

Yes, Virginia is based on the true story of a little girl who wrote a letter to the New York Sun asking the editor if there really is a Santa Claus. The editor wrote a reply that was printed on the paper's front page. The TV show is simply adorable, sweet, uplifting and everything that is good about Christmas. It is very fitting for me right now because I am reading about and coming in contact with more and more people who don't want their children to believe in Santa because they consider it lying to them. First off, if these parents get through their entire relationship with their children without lying, well, more power to them. Bravo! Some people may simply choose not to celebrate the Santa side of the season because of religious reasons. I can respect that as long as they don't do anything else secular during this time of year. But to exclude Santa thinking that it's lying or because their child will be devastated when they learn the "truth" is sad to me. I challenge them to think back on their childhood and point to the tragedy they experienced by believing in Santa. I have a hard time believing there are many. Any child devastated when they learn about Santa probably has bigger problems in their lives.

The whole Santa experience is among my most cherished childhood memories. Even in the years when doubt began to fill my head, it was still exciting to believe that just maybe he was real. There is no way I want to deny my child, or any child, that feeling.

I don't recall being traumatized when I learned the truth. In fact, I don't think I ever really learned about Santa, it just sort of faded away. It returned, though, as I got older and realized that Santa needs helpers to make sure that his love and generosity are shared with others, especially children who come from families who have a hard time providing a magical Christmas. That is why we participate in programs like the Angel Tree mission, Toys for Tots and why we find a family to adopt this time of the year. The thought of a child waking up without a gift from Santa breaks my heart. And I know there are thousands of children like that due financial woes and not because their parents don't want to "mess" with explaining Santa to them.

And, of course, now with a child of my own, Santa is more real than ever. It is so much fun to view this holiday season through her eyes. Things that I found irritating about Christmas, like those dogs who bark Jingle Bells, are now fun when I hear JillyBean laughing at singing dogs. In my opinion, belief in Santa is the simplest form of building faith. And as the conductor says in The Polar Express, "Sometimes seeing is believing and sometimes the most real things are those we cannot see."

So for anyone who does not want to believe in Santa or who doesn't want their child to experience his magic, following is a reprint of the 1897 reply to Virginia's question of whether or not Santa exists:

VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except [what] they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge. Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished. Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world. You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding. No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

The Gift of Giving

We decided to participate in Operation Christmas Child this year through our church. The program is part of Samaritan's Purse and delivers shoe boxes filled with gifts to children around the world.

The program allows you to pick if you want to get gifts for a boy or girl and the age range. I had originally wanted Jilly to help pick out gifts for a girl aged 2-4, but she was adamant that we shop for a boy. We filled our box with Matchbox cars; a small tin of checkers that look like the characters from the movie Cars; a Thomas activity book; puzzles; Sesame Street stickers; a UVA t-shirt; a stuffed frog; and some candy. It was a fun outing with Jilly this afternoon, picking out the toys for our little boy. We made it a trip where we did not buy anything for us so that Jilly could focus on getting something for someone else.

This week is National Collection Week where all of the shoe boxes are delivered to a local collection site. Tonight JillyBean and I volunteered at the collection site. She thought we were going to take our box to the little boy, but was excited to get the chance to help prepare the boxes. When shoe boxes were dropped off, it was our job to make sure they were tagged properly and had a rubber band around the box. Then we placed the boxes in large cardboard boxes to prepare for delivery. Jilly handed the shoe boxes to me to place in the large boxes. She had a good time.

I am sure that she does not completely understand the meaning behind our task, but she did get that we were sending Christmas presents to a little boy who lives very far away from us. Right now we are developing a foundation for helping others.

today Jilly is thankful for pasta

Between Friends

Today is a day when I am especially thankful that JillyBean has a vivid imagination. She was resistant to taking her hourly potty breaks most of the day but I was able to coax her into it by saying that one of her toy friends wanted her to show them how to go potty. First up was Mr. Cow. Jilly was engrossed playing with her farm animals this morning and didn't want to take a break. I told her that Mr. Cow had heard that she was a big girl now and wanted her to show him. She agreed happily and was so proud to explain to Mr. Cow the steps. Jilly also gave tutorials to her frog Lilly, Elmo and Farmer Ted.

All of this goes back to the promise I made to myself that I was not going to allow this process to cause stress or frustration. Harvey Karp wrote in The Happiest Toddler on the Block that you should instill a sense of pride in your toddler and one way is to brag on them, even if it's to an imaginary friend. Making them proud of positive behavior is a more effective way of enforcing that behavior than rewards. I have seen this work on Jilly in many situations. If she has a great day at the grocery store, the first thing I do when we get in the car is tell one of her stuffed animals that is also in the car. She beams with pride. I actually think that it means more to her that I brag on her achievements to Lilly or Happy Bear or Air Bud (her imaginary friend) then when I call Daddy or Grandma. So the opportunity for her to "teach" one of her buddies about going to potty really makes her feel like a pro, boosting her confidence and her willingness to cooperate.

today Jilly is thankful for Grandma, Uncle Jimmy and Uncle Sean

Woo Hoo For Number 2

Today was a good day at Potty Training Camp. JillyBean actually poopied in the potty this morning. It was quite an accomplishment. She was extremely proud, but even happier to finally get a lollipop for a reward.

We ventured out for a play date and she had an accident shortly after we arrived. This is where things can get frustrating, but I refuse to let this be a stressful process. She went to the potty and not five minutes later I realized that she pooed in her pants. Thankfully it wasn't bad (and I'm sorry for too much information), but still it shows how potty training can wear on a parent. She had just been to the potty. Why couldn't she have told me she needed to go again? This is where I need to remember that I am an adult and she is a child.

Sometimes I wonder if we expect too much from two-year-olds. They have been in this world for a very short two years, yet it seems like we expect they develop manners and a level of understanding and compassion that many adults don't display. I don't remember being out in public around strangers as much when I was a child as kids are today. We certainly didn't eat in restaurants as often as we do now. Preschool was not a concept that was considered until age four - there was nursery school, but no preschool.

So much is going on in their tiny little brains right now. On one side there is this great need to become independent but on the other side they have a need to be babied. I mentioned in my last post that my attitude toward potty training this time around has changed making the process a little bit easier. That attitude has also spilled over into the rest of our daily interactions and I have noticed fewer outbursts and tantrums (from both of us). I feel as if I am a bit more relaxed as a parent now; not relaxed in that I've given up and I'm giving in, but relaxed in a way that allows me to enjoy parenthood more. I have learned to take deep breaths and pray for strength when I feel frustrated and that calmness seems to wash over Jilly. After all, she is not the only one who has had two short years to figure out life. I entered uncharted waters only two years ago as well.

today Jilly is thankful for Ma

By George

One of JillyBean's greatest loves is Curious George. She adores the little monkey and we read his stories every day. We have been reading George stories every day for a year. Yes, I get a bit bored with the same thing day after day after day, but it brings so much joy to Jilly.

George came to the local Barnes & Noble last month and Jilly was so excited to get the chance to see him. However, once confronted with a life-size George, she sort of shied away. She even followed him through the store but would not get more than five feet from him. She wasn't exactly scared, more like overcome with the idea of meeting someone who has become a best friend through the pages of a book. Talking to her, though, you would think that they sat down together and had tea. She still beams, nearly a month later, when she talks about seeing George at the bookstore. Every time we go to the store she says: "this is where I saw George."

One of the gifts JillyBean is receiving for Christmas is a Curious George book and CD gift set. I never thought of an audiobook as a good gift idea for a child, but it's actually pretty ingenious. Nana sent Jilly audio versions of Little Bear and Mouse Tales after she broke her arm. They have been wonderful alternatives to flipping on the TV or even music on many occasions. She enjoys listening to the stories while playing in her "toy room" or coloring. We haven't taken them with us in the car because, well, listening to audiobooks makes me sleepy and that's not a good thing when I'm driving.

I am so thankful that Jilly has developed a zest for books. She loves to read and actually told me to sit down on her floor while she sat in the rocking chair and read a book to me. The obvious benefit to a love of books is for the development of her language and reading skills. But for me, daily reading of stories has helped to develop her imagination, something that cannot be taught in school.

In other news, today was an OK day in regard to potty training. She had one accident and fussed a bit when she had potty breaks in the afternoon. Today was more of a struggle, but we got through it. This is the biggest change over the last time we attempted to potty train - my attitude. Previously I would get frustrated when she would "fight" me to go potty but now I make it into a game. I laugh at her antics but am still insistent. Then when she actually produces, I make an even bigger deal out her accomplishment. This has caused less stress for both of us and I think it's the key to our success.

today Jilly is thankful for her dog Sandy

Give Thanks

I am so thankful that the potty training is going pretty smoothly so far. Today was Day 3 and Jilly had no accidents. We made a quick outing and she came home dry and she used the potty on cue every 45 minutes. She even woke up from her nap dry and just called out to us from bed, upset that she had wet her Pull Up.

Since we were home almost all day, JillyBean and I dove into a little craft project for Thanksgiving. Like most kids, Jilly found Halloween exciting and is already anticipating Christmas. I want to make sure that Thanksgiving doesn't get overlooked.

Thanks to my wonderful MOPS group, I came across a project for a Thanksgiving advent-style calendar. We made ours with 15 pockets, since I couldn't get more than five on a row, and we are counting down. We included the scripture from 1 Thessalonians 5:18, "give thanks in all circumstances..." at the top.

Jilly placed all of the pumpkins and leaves on the calendar pockets. It was a fun little project and it gave me a chance to talk to JillyBean about how blessed she is and how important it is for us to thank people and to thank God (through our prayers) for all of those blessings. She doesn't quite get "thankful" so I explained it as things that make us happy.

After the calendar was complete, Jilly had to tell me five things that make her happy (we had to do five to make up the days we have missed). So far Jilly is thankful for:

1. Granddad
2. Santa Claus
3. Mommy
4. Daddy
5. Nanny (Nana)

We will place a note in each pocket leading up to Thanksgiving then we will read them all that day as a reminder of all the blessings we have in our lives.

This is an important exercise this time of year and one that I want to make a tradition for our family, especially leading to Christmas. Too often we are busy trying to fulfill Christmas gift lists that we forget to say thank you for the amazing things that we encounter every day.

Day Two

JillyBean did great today, her second full day to Potty Training Boot Camp. She had a little accident this morning, but it wasn't much. We went to church and since she hadn't done anything but tinkle yesterday, I didn't want her Sunday school teachers to have to deal with dirty training pants so she went in Pull Ups. And just as I thought, she pooed not five minutes after I dropped her off in her class. Her teachers said that she did use the potty, as well, but this other business is going to take a little more work.

After church Jilly and I had to run an errand. We went to he bookstore and she went to the potty there. It took us about an hour to finish up what we needed to do and drive home and I was surprised to find that she was still dry. We went back to the 45-minute rule and she did great. She even told me she needed to potty after I had put her down for a nap and woke up from her nap dry.

I am going to call her doctor tomorrow to talk to her about how we are handling this. The results are positive, but I am finding that JillyBean just goes a little every time. I feel blessed that she doesn't have to sit on the potty for extended periods of time without producing, but I fear that she is holding back a bit. Maybe I have no cause for concern, but it would be nice to get a little guidance. I also want to learn how we get beyond the timer reminders. I know that we're only on Day 2, but I want to make sure that we are headed in the right direction.

Potty Boot Camp

It was a year ago when I posted that we were going to begin potty training. We started off great, but got a little sidetracked then lost all momentum. We're starting over again and this time there is no turning back.

At the time I wrote that I believed the parent must be just as ready, if not more so, than the child. Jilly had clearly expressed a desire and interest to use the big-girl potty at the time, and I thought that we could tackle it, but I was not mentally prepared for the challenge. I am now.

This time around I am taking a cue from a friend who simply told her daughter that they were out of diapers and couldn't buy more. That day came yesterday for us. When Jilly got up from her nap I told her that was it with diapers and that it was time for us to move forward. She was pretty accepting, especially since she finally got the chance to wear her new big-girl Elmo underwear.

Even though we have cloth training pants, I am not using them at home. Instead we are using actual underwear because they aren't as absorbent. I don't think she felt too uncomfortable in the training pants the past few times we've used them and this way there is no mistaking that she is wet.

Last night I set the timer for every half hour and when it went off Jilly and I would take a little trip to the potty. Using a timer works much easier than simply telling her she needs to sit down on the potty. She produced each time we went to the potty, even if it was a little. This morning she told me she needed to potty, and went, three times. Those three times, though, were within five minutes of each other. We upped the potty breaks from 30 minutes to 45 and even did great with a short outing to the grocery store and quick lunch. However, shortly after we got home she had an "accident." She had two more within a half hour. I think that it was because she was outside playing and was a little too preoccupied to think about much else. After that, though, all went well.

We put her to bed, at nap time and at night, in pull-ups, but that's the only time she wears them. When we're out during this "training" period she will wear the cloth training pants only because it wont be quite as messy if she has an accident. Those outings will be few this coming week. I have all kinds of new puzzles, craft projects and a couple of new movies to keep us occupied. I know that I need to stay strong and dedicated to this process.

Jilly has to be out of diapers by Christmas. HAS TO BE. For one, she wants her own lip gloss and I told her that only big girls get their own and big girls don't wear diapers. Santa will bring some to her if he finds out that she is no longer wearing diapers. Also, if she's not potty trained by the end of the year then we're too close to her third birthday and I REALLY don't want a three-year-old in diapers. There are too many activities that I want her to get involved with by the time she's three and she can't if she isn't potty trained. Plus, I'm tired of buying diapers.

My posts this next week will be focused on our journey. I hope that I will have positive reports, though I am sure that it won't be easy.

Discovery Toys

A lot of blogs that I read have sponsors who give deals to readers of the blog. Well, I have no sponsor but I am involved in something that can benefit any readers out there.

I recently became an Educational Consultant for Discovery Toys. Discovery Toys is a great line of fun and educational toys. The toys are of very high quality and priced very competitively, if not less than what you find in the retail stores.

Since Christmas is around the corner and most people are beginning to make their gift-giving list, I am willing to give either 10 percent off your purchase or free shipping for an order of more than $50.

JillyBean has loved all of the toys she has played with from Discovery Toys. Here are her favorites:
Motor Works: This allows children to take three vehicles apart and put them back together. It comes with a battery-operated drill and a manual screwdriver. Jilly played with this at her friend's house and neither child could get enough of it. It is geared toward older children to operate on their own, but younger children still have fun with grown-up guidance.

Zingo: This is a twist on traditional Bingo. Each player gets a card with 12 pictures on it and must match all the tiles to get Zingo. The game is advertised for children ages 4 and older, but at two-and-a-half years old, JillyBean is already a pro. We play this quite a bit as a family and she has now requested taking it with us to the local coffee shop to play. I am considering getting a second game to keep in the car so that we will have it on hand when we go out to eat and need a little distraction to keep everyone happy while waiting for food to arrive.

Busy Bugs: This game uses different colored bugs to teach matching, sequencing, and early math. The first time I gave this to Jilly, she played with it for nearly an hour. In addition to playing it as a game, the bugs are fun to play with alone. If you're squeamish of bugs, Discovery Toys is offering this game with farm animals that is similar but focuses on letters instead of numbers.
Once Upon A Time: This cute little book allows the reader the opportunity to change up the story each time they read it allowing them to build their imagination. The book also comes in a version suitable for boys called Ahoy, Pirate Pete.

In addition to purchasing individual toys, Discovery Toys has created bundled toys for the holidays for $99. These bundles are great if you want to save money on several toys or if you have several children on your list. They're also great if you know that you are going to attend a few baby showers in the near future or if your child is in preschool and will be attending a lot of birthday parties. The Family Games bundle is great for older kids or to add to your family game night collection. I cannot offer a price break on these packages since they are already discounted, but will be happy to give you free shipping.

Please leave a message here to take advantage of my promotion.

Jilly and Lou Lou

Auntie April bought a stuffed lamb chair as a shower gift before Jilly was born. It's absolutely adorable and her name is Lou Lou. Once JB came along we would prop her up in the chair each week to take her picture. It was a way for us to see how much she had grown.

Lou Lou still has a prominent place in Jilly's room. Now she is able to sit in the chair and does so quite a bit while reading or playing with her dolls. She wanted her picture taken with Lou Lou today and I thought that it would be fun to compare the two over the past two-and-a-half years.

One Week Old

Three Weeks Old

Two Months
Three Months
Seven Months
One-and-a-half

Two-and-a-half

Me and My Girl

Beanie Nana and great-grandmother were in town this past week and it was nice having them here to visit. On Friday, JillyBean decided she wanted to stay home with them instead of accompanying me on our weekly grocery trip. At first I thought that it was a great idea - I would be able to run in, knock out everything on the list and get home in no time.

As soon as I started my trek over the mountain I began to get a little sad. I kept looking in my rear view mirror to see Jilly and had to stop myself several times from asking her a question. It was very lonely. Plus, it didn't take me any less time to shop than if she would have been with me. It hammered home a notion that I had often felt but never truly realized until then - I like being with my daughter.

Jilly has a very independent spirit. As she grows older she is more willing to explore that side of herself. Also, she is at the age where we are having to consider placing her in preschool. Is this something we want to do now or wait until she's closer to school age? I certainly don't think she needs to go to preschool to get a jump start on her academics. Everything that they teach them at this age is what we do on a daily basis at home - letters, colors, numbers, etc. I don't think she needs it for socialization because she plays with so many different kids on a daily basis. Some parents view the three hours their children is in preschool as an opportunity for them to have their own time, or a brief break from parenthood. I have mixed feelings about this. For one, Jilly does need to get used to being away from me and in the care of "strangers." But she's doing well with her Sunday school class as well as at MOPs. And, frankly, I don't know what I would do without her.

I made the decision a year-and-a-half ago to stay home with her and I am not ready to be without her. Sure, there are a few things that I could do every now and again that would be easier without having to take her with me, but overall, those are very few and far between.

She's my buddy. And I mean that in the sense that I really enjoy being with my child and not that I'm her "friend" more so than I am her mother. I enjoy her company. She makes me laugh and I love hearing her stories and her perspective on everything that she sees and experiences. Our time together is fleeting. Soon she will be in school, she'll be running out the door to play with her friends, she'll go off to college and, well, move on with her own life. I am not ready to let go of her now.

Bedtime Stories

Like most parents, we have read to JillyBean since she was born. It has been part of our nightly routine since Day 1. And as she has grown and gained a greater interest in stories, we read to her throughout the day.

Now we have taken the next turn - sending her to bed WITH a book. Obviously she is not able to read at this point, but she has heard the stories so many times that she has either memorized the words (like The Digging-est Dog) or gets the gist of the story (like Duck in the Truck). Every nap time she requests to take a book, or two or three, to bed so that she can "read" it to Lilly, her frog, and to the rest of the half dozen or so babies that sleep with her. At first I was a bit hesitant, because I really wanted her to nap. My fear was that she would just sit up there and "play" and not rest. (The rule at nap time is that if she doesn't sleep, she has to stay there for 2 hours). But it was too cute to see her sitting at the side of her crib, with Lilly next to her, and listening in as she told the story.

In a way it has reinforced to us that she is actually developing reading comprehension. BeanieDaddy will change up a story every now and again and she'll pick up on what is different and correct him. She also asks Lilly the same questions that we ask her when we read - like how many candles are on Curious George's birthday cake?

And while in the beginning the reading in bed would lead to less sleep time, lately she has fallen asleep shortly after she finishes the story. I am unsure how so-called child experts would view this practice and what it means for toddler sleep requirements, but I think that the results are positive now and down the road. For one, it fosters a love of books and stories, which will help with her language and thinking skills. I also believe that it has helped to develop Jilly's incredible imagination.