Between Friends

Today is a day when I am especially thankful that JillyBean has a vivid imagination. She was resistant to taking her hourly potty breaks most of the day but I was able to coax her into it by saying that one of her toy friends wanted her to show them how to go potty. First up was Mr. Cow. Jilly was engrossed playing with her farm animals this morning and didn't want to take a break. I told her that Mr. Cow had heard that she was a big girl now and wanted her to show him. She agreed happily and was so proud to explain to Mr. Cow the steps. Jilly also gave tutorials to her frog Lilly, Elmo and Farmer Ted.

All of this goes back to the promise I made to myself that I was not going to allow this process to cause stress or frustration. Harvey Karp wrote in The Happiest Toddler on the Block that you should instill a sense of pride in your toddler and one way is to brag on them, even if it's to an imaginary friend. Making them proud of positive behavior is a more effective way of enforcing that behavior than rewards. I have seen this work on Jilly in many situations. If she has a great day at the grocery store, the first thing I do when we get in the car is tell one of her stuffed animals that is also in the car. She beams with pride. I actually think that it means more to her that I brag on her achievements to Lilly or Happy Bear or Air Bud (her imaginary friend) then when I call Daddy or Grandma. So the opportunity for her to "teach" one of her buddies about going to potty really makes her feel like a pro, boosting her confidence and her willingness to cooperate.

today Jilly is thankful for Grandma, Uncle Jimmy and Uncle Sean

Woo Hoo For Number 2

Today was a good day at Potty Training Camp. JillyBean actually poopied in the potty this morning. It was quite an accomplishment. She was extremely proud, but even happier to finally get a lollipop for a reward.

We ventured out for a play date and she had an accident shortly after we arrived. This is where things can get frustrating, but I refuse to let this be a stressful process. She went to the potty and not five minutes later I realized that she pooed in her pants. Thankfully it wasn't bad (and I'm sorry for too much information), but still it shows how potty training can wear on a parent. She had just been to the potty. Why couldn't she have told me she needed to go again? This is where I need to remember that I am an adult and she is a child.

Sometimes I wonder if we expect too much from two-year-olds. They have been in this world for a very short two years, yet it seems like we expect they develop manners and a level of understanding and compassion that many adults don't display. I don't remember being out in public around strangers as much when I was a child as kids are today. We certainly didn't eat in restaurants as often as we do now. Preschool was not a concept that was considered until age four - there was nursery school, but no preschool.

So much is going on in their tiny little brains right now. On one side there is this great need to become independent but on the other side they have a need to be babied. I mentioned in my last post that my attitude toward potty training this time around has changed making the process a little bit easier. That attitude has also spilled over into the rest of our daily interactions and I have noticed fewer outbursts and tantrums (from both of us). I feel as if I am a bit more relaxed as a parent now; not relaxed in that I've given up and I'm giving in, but relaxed in a way that allows me to enjoy parenthood more. I have learned to take deep breaths and pray for strength when I feel frustrated and that calmness seems to wash over Jilly. After all, she is not the only one who has had two short years to figure out life. I entered uncharted waters only two years ago as well.

today Jilly is thankful for Ma

By George

One of JillyBean's greatest loves is Curious George. She adores the little monkey and we read his stories every day. We have been reading George stories every day for a year. Yes, I get a bit bored with the same thing day after day after day, but it brings so much joy to Jilly.

George came to the local Barnes & Noble last month and Jilly was so excited to get the chance to see him. However, once confronted with a life-size George, she sort of shied away. She even followed him through the store but would not get more than five feet from him. She wasn't exactly scared, more like overcome with the idea of meeting someone who has become a best friend through the pages of a book. Talking to her, though, you would think that they sat down together and had tea. She still beams, nearly a month later, when she talks about seeing George at the bookstore. Every time we go to the store she says: "this is where I saw George."

One of the gifts JillyBean is receiving for Christmas is a Curious George book and CD gift set. I never thought of an audiobook as a good gift idea for a child, but it's actually pretty ingenious. Nana sent Jilly audio versions of Little Bear and Mouse Tales after she broke her arm. They have been wonderful alternatives to flipping on the TV or even music on many occasions. She enjoys listening to the stories while playing in her "toy room" or coloring. We haven't taken them with us in the car because, well, listening to audiobooks makes me sleepy and that's not a good thing when I'm driving.

I am so thankful that Jilly has developed a zest for books. She loves to read and actually told me to sit down on her floor while she sat in the rocking chair and read a book to me. The obvious benefit to a love of books is for the development of her language and reading skills. But for me, daily reading of stories has helped to develop her imagination, something that cannot be taught in school.

In other news, today was an OK day in regard to potty training. She had one accident and fussed a bit when she had potty breaks in the afternoon. Today was more of a struggle, but we got through it. This is the biggest change over the last time we attempted to potty train - my attitude. Previously I would get frustrated when she would "fight" me to go potty but now I make it into a game. I laugh at her antics but am still insistent. Then when she actually produces, I make an even bigger deal out her accomplishment. This has caused less stress for both of us and I think it's the key to our success.

today Jilly is thankful for her dog Sandy

Give Thanks

I am so thankful that the potty training is going pretty smoothly so far. Today was Day 3 and Jilly had no accidents. We made a quick outing and she came home dry and she used the potty on cue every 45 minutes. She even woke up from her nap dry and just called out to us from bed, upset that she had wet her Pull Up.

Since we were home almost all day, JillyBean and I dove into a little craft project for Thanksgiving. Like most kids, Jilly found Halloween exciting and is already anticipating Christmas. I want to make sure that Thanksgiving doesn't get overlooked.

Thanks to my wonderful MOPS group, I came across a project for a Thanksgiving advent-style calendar. We made ours with 15 pockets, since I couldn't get more than five on a row, and we are counting down. We included the scripture from 1 Thessalonians 5:18, "give thanks in all circumstances..." at the top.

Jilly placed all of the pumpkins and leaves on the calendar pockets. It was a fun little project and it gave me a chance to talk to JillyBean about how blessed she is and how important it is for us to thank people and to thank God (through our prayers) for all of those blessings. She doesn't quite get "thankful" so I explained it as things that make us happy.

After the calendar was complete, Jilly had to tell me five things that make her happy (we had to do five to make up the days we have missed). So far Jilly is thankful for:

1. Granddad
2. Santa Claus
3. Mommy
4. Daddy
5. Nanny (Nana)

We will place a note in each pocket leading up to Thanksgiving then we will read them all that day as a reminder of all the blessings we have in our lives.

This is an important exercise this time of year and one that I want to make a tradition for our family, especially leading to Christmas. Too often we are busy trying to fulfill Christmas gift lists that we forget to say thank you for the amazing things that we encounter every day.

Day Two

JillyBean did great today, her second full day to Potty Training Boot Camp. She had a little accident this morning, but it wasn't much. We went to church and since she hadn't done anything but tinkle yesterday, I didn't want her Sunday school teachers to have to deal with dirty training pants so she went in Pull Ups. And just as I thought, she pooed not five minutes after I dropped her off in her class. Her teachers said that she did use the potty, as well, but this other business is going to take a little more work.

After church Jilly and I had to run an errand. We went to he bookstore and she went to the potty there. It took us about an hour to finish up what we needed to do and drive home and I was surprised to find that she was still dry. We went back to the 45-minute rule and she did great. She even told me she needed to potty after I had put her down for a nap and woke up from her nap dry.

I am going to call her doctor tomorrow to talk to her about how we are handling this. The results are positive, but I am finding that JillyBean just goes a little every time. I feel blessed that she doesn't have to sit on the potty for extended periods of time without producing, but I fear that she is holding back a bit. Maybe I have no cause for concern, but it would be nice to get a little guidance. I also want to learn how we get beyond the timer reminders. I know that we're only on Day 2, but I want to make sure that we are headed in the right direction.

Potty Boot Camp

It was a year ago when I posted that we were going to begin potty training. We started off great, but got a little sidetracked then lost all momentum. We're starting over again and this time there is no turning back.

At the time I wrote that I believed the parent must be just as ready, if not more so, than the child. Jilly had clearly expressed a desire and interest to use the big-girl potty at the time, and I thought that we could tackle it, but I was not mentally prepared for the challenge. I am now.

This time around I am taking a cue from a friend who simply told her daughter that they were out of diapers and couldn't buy more. That day came yesterday for us. When Jilly got up from her nap I told her that was it with diapers and that it was time for us to move forward. She was pretty accepting, especially since she finally got the chance to wear her new big-girl Elmo underwear.

Even though we have cloth training pants, I am not using them at home. Instead we are using actual underwear because they aren't as absorbent. I don't think she felt too uncomfortable in the training pants the past few times we've used them and this way there is no mistaking that she is wet.

Last night I set the timer for every half hour and when it went off Jilly and I would take a little trip to the potty. Using a timer works much easier than simply telling her she needs to sit down on the potty. She produced each time we went to the potty, even if it was a little. This morning she told me she needed to potty, and went, three times. Those three times, though, were within five minutes of each other. We upped the potty breaks from 30 minutes to 45 and even did great with a short outing to the grocery store and quick lunch. However, shortly after we got home she had an "accident." She had two more within a half hour. I think that it was because she was outside playing and was a little too preoccupied to think about much else. After that, though, all went well.

We put her to bed, at nap time and at night, in pull-ups, but that's the only time she wears them. When we're out during this "training" period she will wear the cloth training pants only because it wont be quite as messy if she has an accident. Those outings will be few this coming week. I have all kinds of new puzzles, craft projects and a couple of new movies to keep us occupied. I know that I need to stay strong and dedicated to this process.

Jilly has to be out of diapers by Christmas. HAS TO BE. For one, she wants her own lip gloss and I told her that only big girls get their own and big girls don't wear diapers. Santa will bring some to her if he finds out that she is no longer wearing diapers. Also, if she's not potty trained by the end of the year then we're too close to her third birthday and I REALLY don't want a three-year-old in diapers. There are too many activities that I want her to get involved with by the time she's three and she can't if she isn't potty trained. Plus, I'm tired of buying diapers.

My posts this next week will be focused on our journey. I hope that I will have positive reports, though I am sure that it won't be easy.

The Chair

This training potty has been in our home for about two months. JillyBean has been introduced to the concept of going "wet" in a big-girl potty for a little while and we made the decision to start potty training her at 18 months. Well, we missed that mark by a month and are doing it for real this month. Actually, we're going to start in two weeks - the week of Thanksgiving because we have no outside activities planned (no Mother Goose Time, no Kindermusik, and no Little Gym). We're going to stay home and do a potty training boot camp and see how it goes.

We have made the decision not to use Pull Ups because I really want JillyBean to know that she's wet. I understand that the Pull Ups get cold when they're wet, but it can't be the same thing. So, after doing a lot of research I ordered Potty Patty training pants. They arrived on Friday making this whole exercise very real. Up until now Bean goes potty at bath time and each morning after she gets out of bed. We have made this a routine and I have noticed that every now and again she'll ask to go on her own. She has been letting us know that she's wet for some time so now we need to get her figure out how to let us know ahead of time.

I never really realized what a commitment potty training is but, like everything else with kids, consistency is the key. I have learned from other moms that the best way to do it is to stay home and really reinforce using the "big" potty. My Grandmother potty trained me when I was 12 months old and I'm sure it's because she was so focused on it. I believe that the parent has to be in the right frame of mind just like the child. If I'm not ready then she'll never be ready. But she's been giving us signals that she is ready to make this next step so I have got to prepare myself.

There are books on how to train in a day or three days but I don't want to be that hard core. We're going to work on it for the week and if it works then great and if not, we'll try it again another time.