The Reason

Although Thanksgiving is over, our little lesson for Jilly that we need to be thankful for what we have continues. It is especially important now that the hoopla that surrounds Christmas is here. Make no mistake, I want her to anticipate the gifts she will receive from family and Santa, but finding the right balance between giving and receiving, and understanding why we celebrate Christmas is key.

Today we joined some ladies from our MOPS group at the Hope Community Center to sort through donated items that will go to families in need. On Saturday, area families will get the chance to "shop" for clothes, toys and household items. Jilly spent most of the time playing with some other children who were there, but I kept telling here that we were getting things together for families who need a little help.

Afterward we came home to finish decorating. One of the items that I saved specifically for JillyBean to help with was setting out our manger set. It was a good time to talk again about Mary, Joseph, the Wise Men, and, of course, baby Jesus. She clearly knows that Christmas is Jesus' birthday and that one way we celebrate is by giving gifts to others.

Thankful

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and Jilly seems to be realizing that there is something between Halloween and Christmas. Our little ritual of writing down something each morning that she is thankful for is beginning to sink into her teeny little head.

We will be spending the afternoon with close friends. I have been asked to bring nothing, but that goes against the whole point of Thanksgiving. We did contribute the turkey, although we're not cooking it - just used our grocery store points for a free one. However, I am making my "famous" pecan pie. I am making it because no one in our house likes pecan pie and if I want to eat it, I have to make it for someone else.

I will turn on the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in the morning and hope that Jilly takes a minute to watch, but if not, that's OK. I always enjoyed watching it with my dad when I was a kid.

We wish all of you a very Happy Thanksgiving and hope that you take a few minutes to realize the many blessings in your life and not dwell on the challenges.

today Jilly is thankful for the candy Christmas trees we made together last night

Season of Peace

I am so excited to host Christmas at our house this year. It is something I have been wanting to do for a very long time and now, with a child, it's easier to accomplish. We get to stay put every three years and that makes me happy. Of course all of our family is welcome to come and celebrate with us. I would love nothing more than to have a house full of people to open gifts, enjoy company and celebrate our Lord's birth. Only my mom and uncle will be here. My brother and his wife had planned to come, but sister-in-law started a new job and can't take off any time to justify the criminal airfare to get here for a short time. Beanie Daddy's family has decided to stay put in Tennessee. But that's OK. We have good friends who will join us for Christmas dinner and it is going to a joyous occasion.

Looking ahead I am amazed at how our calendar is already slammed. My plan is to make this a peaceful month and a time where we can really enjoy the build up to Christmas. We are going to be busy, but we aren't going to be rushed. I want this to be a time where we can teach Jilly the anticipation of Santa, the fulfillment of giving to others, and the joy of God's gift to us. Since she is older and is building memories, I want to begin establishing traditions - little things that she will treasure and hopefully pass along when she has a family of her own.

I have enjoyed reading Simple Mom's 12 Weeks to a Peaceful Christmas. It has given tips on how to make this an enjoyable time and not one where we're so busy worrying about making the house look.just.right.

Some of the highlights for the upcoming Christmas season include:

• Lighting of the Lawn - an annual event that began in 2001 in the wake of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. The event was intended to gather the community together as a way to appreciate all they had.
• Radio City Christmas Spectacular featuring the Rockettes - I wanted to be a Rockette when I was a kid. I am so excited that this show is coming to the John Paul Jones Arena and JillyBean and I are attending. I hope to make this the first of an annual holiday "date" she and I have together.
• Hope Community Chest - This is a event coordinated by the Hope Community Center that allows families in need to receive clothes and toys. Jilly and I are volunteering with our MOPS group to receive and sort donations as well as assist on the day that families "shop."
• Toy Lift - a local event that collects toys for children in need

Mixed in with these festivities is a slate of activities planned for home. We have a home to decorate, cookies to bake, crafts to make, and holiday movies to watch. In order to make this as enjoyable and memorable as possible we are going to simply take on the Christmas season one day at a time.

Jilly is thankful for:
gifts she receives in the mail
friends
Smoky and Snoopy (her imaginary friends)
Thomas the Train

The Gift of Giving

We decided to participate in Operation Christmas Child this year through our church. The program is part of Samaritan's Purse and delivers shoe boxes filled with gifts to children around the world.

The program allows you to pick if you want to get gifts for a boy or girl and the age range. I had originally wanted Jilly to help pick out gifts for a girl aged 2-4, but she was adamant that we shop for a boy. We filled our box with Matchbox cars; a small tin of checkers that look like the characters from the movie Cars; a Thomas activity book; puzzles; Sesame Street stickers; a UVA t-shirt; a stuffed frog; and some candy. It was a fun outing with Jilly this afternoon, picking out the toys for our little boy. We made it a trip where we did not buy anything for us so that Jilly could focus on getting something for someone else.

This week is National Collection Week where all of the shoe boxes are delivered to a local collection site. Tonight JillyBean and I volunteered at the collection site. She thought we were going to take our box to the little boy, but was excited to get the chance to help prepare the boxes. When shoe boxes were dropped off, it was our job to make sure they were tagged properly and had a rubber band around the box. Then we placed the boxes in large cardboard boxes to prepare for delivery. Jilly handed the shoe boxes to me to place in the large boxes. She had a good time.

I am sure that she does not completely understand the meaning behind our task, but she did get that we were sending Christmas presents to a little boy who lives very far away from us. Right now we are developing a foundation for helping others.

today Jilly is thankful for pasta

Between Friends

Today is a day when I am especially thankful that JillyBean has a vivid imagination. She was resistant to taking her hourly potty breaks most of the day but I was able to coax her into it by saying that one of her toy friends wanted her to show them how to go potty. First up was Mr. Cow. Jilly was engrossed playing with her farm animals this morning and didn't want to take a break. I told her that Mr. Cow had heard that she was a big girl now and wanted her to show him. She agreed happily and was so proud to explain to Mr. Cow the steps. Jilly also gave tutorials to her frog Lilly, Elmo and Farmer Ted.

All of this goes back to the promise I made to myself that I was not going to allow this process to cause stress or frustration. Harvey Karp wrote in The Happiest Toddler on the Block that you should instill a sense of pride in your toddler and one way is to brag on them, even if it's to an imaginary friend. Making them proud of positive behavior is a more effective way of enforcing that behavior than rewards. I have seen this work on Jilly in many situations. If she has a great day at the grocery store, the first thing I do when we get in the car is tell one of her stuffed animals that is also in the car. She beams with pride. I actually think that it means more to her that I brag on her achievements to Lilly or Happy Bear or Air Bud (her imaginary friend) then when I call Daddy or Grandma. So the opportunity for her to "teach" one of her buddies about going to potty really makes her feel like a pro, boosting her confidence and her willingness to cooperate.

today Jilly is thankful for Grandma, Uncle Jimmy and Uncle Sean

Woo Hoo For Number 2

Today was a good day at Potty Training Camp. JillyBean actually poopied in the potty this morning. It was quite an accomplishment. She was extremely proud, but even happier to finally get a lollipop for a reward.

We ventured out for a play date and she had an accident shortly after we arrived. This is where things can get frustrating, but I refuse to let this be a stressful process. She went to the potty and not five minutes later I realized that she pooed in her pants. Thankfully it wasn't bad (and I'm sorry for too much information), but still it shows how potty training can wear on a parent. She had just been to the potty. Why couldn't she have told me she needed to go again? This is where I need to remember that I am an adult and she is a child.

Sometimes I wonder if we expect too much from two-year-olds. They have been in this world for a very short two years, yet it seems like we expect they develop manners and a level of understanding and compassion that many adults don't display. I don't remember being out in public around strangers as much when I was a child as kids are today. We certainly didn't eat in restaurants as often as we do now. Preschool was not a concept that was considered until age four - there was nursery school, but no preschool.

So much is going on in their tiny little brains right now. On one side there is this great need to become independent but on the other side they have a need to be babied. I mentioned in my last post that my attitude toward potty training this time around has changed making the process a little bit easier. That attitude has also spilled over into the rest of our daily interactions and I have noticed fewer outbursts and tantrums (from both of us). I feel as if I am a bit more relaxed as a parent now; not relaxed in that I've given up and I'm giving in, but relaxed in a way that allows me to enjoy parenthood more. I have learned to take deep breaths and pray for strength when I feel frustrated and that calmness seems to wash over Jilly. After all, she is not the only one who has had two short years to figure out life. I entered uncharted waters only two years ago as well.

today Jilly is thankful for Ma

By George

One of JillyBean's greatest loves is Curious George. She adores the little monkey and we read his stories every day. We have been reading George stories every day for a year. Yes, I get a bit bored with the same thing day after day after day, but it brings so much joy to Jilly.

George came to the local Barnes & Noble last month and Jilly was so excited to get the chance to see him. However, once confronted with a life-size George, she sort of shied away. She even followed him through the store but would not get more than five feet from him. She wasn't exactly scared, more like overcome with the idea of meeting someone who has become a best friend through the pages of a book. Talking to her, though, you would think that they sat down together and had tea. She still beams, nearly a month later, when she talks about seeing George at the bookstore. Every time we go to the store she says: "this is where I saw George."

One of the gifts JillyBean is receiving for Christmas is a Curious George book and CD gift set. I never thought of an audiobook as a good gift idea for a child, but it's actually pretty ingenious. Nana sent Jilly audio versions of Little Bear and Mouse Tales after she broke her arm. They have been wonderful alternatives to flipping on the TV or even music on many occasions. She enjoys listening to the stories while playing in her "toy room" or coloring. We haven't taken them with us in the car because, well, listening to audiobooks makes me sleepy and that's not a good thing when I'm driving.

I am so thankful that Jilly has developed a zest for books. She loves to read and actually told me to sit down on her floor while she sat in the rocking chair and read a book to me. The obvious benefit to a love of books is for the development of her language and reading skills. But for me, daily reading of stories has helped to develop her imagination, something that cannot be taught in school.

In other news, today was an OK day in regard to potty training. She had one accident and fussed a bit when she had potty breaks in the afternoon. Today was more of a struggle, but we got through it. This is the biggest change over the last time we attempted to potty train - my attitude. Previously I would get frustrated when she would "fight" me to go potty but now I make it into a game. I laugh at her antics but am still insistent. Then when she actually produces, I make an even bigger deal out her accomplishment. This has caused less stress for both of us and I think it's the key to our success.

today Jilly is thankful for her dog Sandy