Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is Monday and we are working hard to create some cards for friends and family. I saw this idea in Martha Stewart Living last year and decided this is what Jillian will give to her friends this year. I like how adding the lollipop makes the hearts look like flowers.

They were super simple, just a little time consuming. I had to do the cutting and assembling of the hearts, but Jillian selected the lollipop and put it in for the final touch.

We still need to figure out what to send to family and we're going to be cutting it close. This has been a crazy week. Daddy had outpatient surgery on Monday, keeping me out of the house all day, then other commitments have kept us running the rest of the week. I'm sure we can get it all done and shipped out tomorrow just in time to let everyone know how much they mean to us.

Come on Spring!

Today was Groundhog Day so Jillian and I did a little project. This simple little groundhog craft came to me via an email newsletter that we use for some homeschooling projects. Last year we made a groundhog out of toilet paper roll, but I like this one much better.

Jillian enjoyed painting her groundhog with an old toothbrush and since we didn't have brown paint she made him yellow so he would have blond hair like her.

Thankfully Puxatony Phil didn't see his shadow this morning so hopefully Spring is right around the corner. But Jillian's groundhog had a shadow, though she kept it hidden much of the day.

The Good, the Bad, and the What Were You Thinking?

So once again I make up my mind to make it a habit to post more frequently and once again I fail. However, this time it wasn't because I simply didn't take the time to turn on my computer and write. I have purposely avoided writing because it would mean being completely honest about life around here.

Don't get me wrong. In the grand scheme of things our life is great. We are happy and healthy (except for a week-long case of the snots). But I have come to realize in the past two-and-a-half weeks that the most frustrating part of parenthood is how you can have a seemingly perfect child one day and a terror the next. And I don't mean little meltdowns that take place at random parts of a fairly smooth day, I'm talking about full-blown ugliness that seems to consume the day.

I am not so sure Jillian ever had a chance. I am not a super calm, soothing person. I have several friends who speak with sweet, whispy tones and try as I might, it doesn't work with me. So when I get flustered, frustrated, excited, whatever, I tend to do it big. Yes, I do have my moments when I am calm and collective and that's usually when I'm around others. And I also go to the other extreme where I brush it off and act like nothing has happened. But for some reason I tend to overreact when alone or with those who are closest to me. So it's no surprise that when something doesn't go as planned for my child that she flips out. That's what has been happening lately around here and it's been happening with more frequency.

Last week I was so upset with her that I actually said that I should enroll her in preschool and let someone else deal with her. Then reality quickly hit me with the fact that she'd still come home and probably with other behavior issues learned from other kids that we would have to correct. Sure she'd be out of the house for three hours a day, three to five days a week. But she's home with us for at least 21 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I literally dropped to my knees in prayer one day asking God to help. Help my child become more obedient. Help me react better to her. Help me be a positive example to her.

My answer came in the form of a couple of blog posts by women who are filled with much more wisdom than I.

This post on MOD Squad made me question if I expect more out of my daughter than she is capable of giving. For heaven's sake, she only three. There are times that I expect her to behave on the level of an adult when, truth be told, most adults don't behave any better. I need to be more mindful of where she is NOW. I need to understand that she is still being shaped and instead of getting frustrated that she makes the same comment four times in a row let her know that I look forward to the day when God teaches her that she is being heard and understood by others.

I also need to show her more grace than I am willing to grant her most days. How awful would it be if the God I try so hard to follow just threw up his hands with disgust and said he was finished with me? Following him means following his example.

The next way God spoke to me was through Ann Voskamp, author of One Thousand Gifts and the blog, A Holy Experience. She spoke to my reaction to Jillian's missteps by writing:

"You are what you speak and you are what you hear and we are our words and our tongue is the tail of our heart."

Wow. The words ripped through me like a sword. Although I have always known this truth, the reality has never seeped into my heart as it did then and there. Again, bringing me to my knees in prayer that God help me offer calm, supportive, loving, yet authoritative words to my child. She only knows how to react by learning from me.

She's a fabulous child and a joy to be around - most of the time. It is up to me to lead by example and remember that she is still a very young work in progress.

Comfort in Routine

In a way I am sad that the Christmas season has come to an end. We took down our tree over the weekend and packed away the rest of the Christmas decor and now the house looks, well, blah. But there is a level of comfort in returning to the same-ol-same-ol.

Jillian and I did not leave the house on Monday. We played with one of her art projects (a fabulous gift from a friend that will become a favorite gift of ours to give), did some school work, had plenty of play and music time, and completed a craft project for today's music class.

Jillian has been part of Kindermusik for nearly 3 years. There have been times when I have questioned continuing the program, but she loves the class and loves music. This session the kids are learning music that has to do with weather. Snow is the current topic so we had to make snow boots that she could take to class. It was a fun little activity that we did after nap time.

We used a brown paper bag, dot paint, stickers and cotton balls. Jilly had so much fun decorating her boots.
One had pink and green dots with snowflake stickers and the other had purple and blue dots with snowman and penguin stickers. The cotton balls served as "fur" lining to keep the snow out of the boots and to keep her feet nice and toasty.

She had a lot of fun stomping around in the snow that apparently filled her playroom. She even laid down on the floor to make a snow angel and trotted around with her bells singing Jingle Bells.

It was a fun afternoon and a great way to begin a new year.

Gift for God

At this year's MOPS Christmas party we chose a gift that is going to make it on to our list of family traditions. What God Wants For Christmas is a neat Nativity lesson that can be enjoyed by the entire family. It comes with a pop-up manger, a book and 7 boxes that you open each day for 7 days. The first six represent those who witnessed Christ entry into the world. Day 7 reveals what God wants for Christmas.

It shouldn't be a surprise that what God wants is us, but as we talked about it the days leading up to the final day, Jillian was convinced that God wants a camel.

In addition to reinforcing the story of Christ's birth, the set is a fun little play toy for Jillian. She lays in the floor each night and has the figures act out her version of the first Christmas. The dialog that goes along with the production is quite entertaining as she makes sure the shepherd and the wise man speak nicely to one another and that they don't talk too loudly to wake up Baby Jesus.

Snow Angel

We had our first snowfall of the season today. Kids didn't go to school so there was plenty of activity outside our door before 9 a.m. Jilly jumped into the action by making snow angles along the sidewalk up and down our street. She seemed to have had a great time for a couple of hours until she finally got a little too cold and needed a bit of hot chocolate to get back on track. The morning ended with a couple of kids in the house with hot cocoa warming their hands and the Grinch on TV. It was a great morning, in spite of not being able to accomplish a thing on my "to do" list.

Peaceful Evenings

We babysit the second-grade girl who lives across the street each afternoon. She is with us from the time she gets off the school bus around 2:30 and her parents come home, before 6. Let's just say that the house is not at all peaceful during that time. She is a sweet girl, but having two girls who are very strong willed together is, well, interesting. I feel as if I can't leave the room for more than 10 minutes without hearing Jilly squeal because she's irritated that either the little girl is taunting her for some reason or because she's looking at her. It makes me wonder why anyone would want more than one child....It's not really that bad. The girls have had many more sweet moments together than not, it's just that those annoying times are amplified.

Either way I have employed a new rule: once Mattie is gone we turn on the Christmas CDs, flip on the fire, light candles and try to bring the day down to a peaceful tone by the time Daddy gets home from work. Yesterday was picture perfect.
I have a box that I wrapped with green foil paper a few years ago to hold our collection of Christmas books. It only comes out this time of year and is a virtual treasure chest for my child. She adores books and especially these. She was quite content browsing through and "reading" everything from Curious George's Christmas and Frosty the Snowman to the picture book of Christ's birth and 'Twas the Night Before Christmas.

It's quite entertaining listening to her. She has an amazing memory, especially when it comes to books, and either recites each page word for word or some version of it. She is so hungry to learn to read and we are working on it, though not as intense as I had planned, but that's OK. Her enthusiasm doesn't show any signs of diminishing.

Having these couple of hours each evening alone with the sounds of Josh Grobin belting out Christmas classics have made a big difference in the way our day ends. It is much more peaceful and joyful. In addition to bringing our home down to that level after a high-energy afternoon is important to me, but I hope that the act of reconnecting with the characters in these special books creates special memories for Jillian as well.

Spirit of Christmas

Last week was one of those weeks. You know the kind when your days seem to blend together and then by the time you get to Sunday you wonder how, or if, anything was really accomplished?

The main source of the crazy week was getting our Christmas decor out and on display. A friend's father-in-law provided our amazing tree this year. It is the most beautiful tree - biggest and freshest - we have had since we were married and this will be the one Christmas that we will be spending the least amount of time at home since we'll be flying to visit my family for the holidays. J and I laughed the two nights it took us to get the tree together - cut to a height that it would fit in the house, purchase additional lights to wrap around it, hang the ornaments. He said that this is the one year that he was not rolling his eyes at the number of ornaments that I have because we clearly needed them to keep the tree from looking bare.

Coming downstairs alone each morning for my quiet time is enhanced now with the lovely glow, both from the tree and the fire place next to it. It is so peaceful and I no longer have memories of the craziness that I felt trying to make things come together while preparing for other activities of the week. I feel as if I can now enjoy the peace that the season brings.

Polar Express

Jillian adores The Polar Express movie, book and soundtrack. She will watch the movie all day every day, if I let her. We bought the soundtrack a few weeks ago and I cannot tell you how many times we have listened to it - in the car, in the living room, in her toy room. I am not sure what it is about the story, but she loves it.

Since we were traveling to Tennessee for Thanksgiving we decided it would be a good idea to travel a couple of hours into Bryson City, North Carolina, to let her ride the Polar Express. We didn't tell her our plans. In fact, she had no clue what we were doing as we pulled into the parking lot for the Great Smoky Mountain Railroad. She saw children wearing their PJs and questioned it. I asked her why kids would wear PJs on a train. Her response: "Well, sometimes kids sleep on trains." True, but then I asked why would kids get on a train in their PJs. I knew by the look on her face that she knew the answer but didn't want to say. I believe she was filled with joy but was overwhelmed by the idea. She didn't want to say it out loud, just in case she was wrong.

We took a quick trip to the ladies room and she changed into a pair of Christmas pajamas then we were on our way. Her face showed nothing less than sheer elation. The soundtrack played over the speakers and Jillian sang along with every song as she watched the countryside go by her window. We were served hot chocolate, her first of the season, and it had to be the best she has ever tasted.

We rolled up to the North Pole and Old Saint Nick got on board, giving each child "the first gift of Christmas." She has clung to that bell since she received it, making sure she, we, and everyone she sees can hear it, therefore believing in the Spirit of Christmas.

I have questioned whether or not the trip was worth the amount of money we paid, but closing my eyes and seeing her face makes me realize that how an adult views an event is a world away from a child's view.

Thankful

"Give thanks in all circumstances..." 1 Thessalonians 5:18

I am thankful for:

• A God who provides all my needs
• A Savior, Jesus, whose lessons of loving and serving others is one that I need to follow more closely
• A husband who loves and accepts all of my shortcomings
• A sweet child who fills my days with light, especially when they seem dark
  
• Being born into a loving and supportive family
• Marrying into an accepting and loving family
• Friends who fill my world with wit, wisdom and inspiration
• Strangers who bring more into my life than I will ever know
  

Love in a Shoe Box

For the second year we participated in Operation Christmas Child, a wonderful ministry that delivers Christmas gifts packed in shoe boxes to children around the world. Last year we did one box and Jilly was convinced that a little boy in Haiti, named Carlos, received it. She talks about Carlos a lot and, actually, the little three-year-old visits us from time to time in the form of an imaginary friend.

It's been great having Jilly associate a name with her box. It gives her little mind the ability to visualize an actual child who will receive something special this Christmas. We prayed that the children know that they are loved by someone who has never me them. She talks about Carlos quite a bit, especially the past month, and has been planning what to put in his box. Sometime before Halloween Jilly informed me that Carlos has two sisters - one his age and one older. She thought it would be a good idea if we send gifts to them too. So, we prepared three boxes this year.

Jilly has been blessed with family members who have sent her cards throughout the year and many times those cards have included a dollar or two or five. She wanted to use her money to buy Carlos' gifts. It was solely her idea and came about with absolutely no prompting by me. I have never been more proud of her. So, she dug out $9 and we trotted down to the Family Dollar Store to see what we could get. She bought two cars, two coloring books, three boxes of crayons (one for Carlos and two for his sisters), two Snoopy tooth brushes, some Toy Story soap and toothpaste. I added to it with a few more trinkets and a shirt from Target. Jilly wanted to write a note to her friends, so I took dictation and she made them pretty with stickers.

After preparing the boxes, we said a prayer for each of the children who will receive it. Jilly said that Carlos had a stomach ache so prayed that God would heal him. It make me wonder sometimes if she has a sort of connection of the spirit with the child who received her box last year.

As I previously mentioned, I am reading Francis Chan's Crazy Love as part of a Bible study. The gist of the study is that we should stop clinging to earthly goods in the hope of using them in the future. He really hammers home the point that those of us who have received an abundance of God's blessings should pass on more than we use. In Matthew 25:45 Christ says: "I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me." And in 1 John 3:18 we are told, "...let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth."

I hope that this simple act of sending children goodies that fit in a shoe box becomes a building block for the type of giving heart Jillian develops throughout the course of her life. My prayer is that she becomes a person who, as her recent memory verse - 2 Chronicles 9:7 - instructs, is a cheerful giver.

Dear Santa

We did an official Santa list today. It was rainy and cold and seemed like the perfect indoor activity. Plus, if we don't get this list to Ol Saint Nick soon Jilly may be out of luck this year.

I found some cute paper from Activity Village and we went to work. Jilly was a bit confused because she scratched out a note last week. I gave her a quick lesson on the beauty of nice stationery and no questions were asked.
She went to work on her version and I translated it on another piece of paper. Her main gift "wants" are an art easel and a CD player with microphones so that she can sing along. After that, her request is for the all-too-general "a lot of toys." I told her that she couldn't ask for something like that. For one, Santa doesn't know exactly which toys she likes and secondly, and more importantly, there is no need for "a lot of toys." Finally she said she was OK with those two things, but then added she wants a Horton Hears a Who game as well as a Curious George hide-and-seek game. Santa also has it in his head that he'll throw in the Mary Poppins CD as well as the new Olivia book.

So tomorrow we will place the completed list in an envelope and ship it off to the North Pole.

Generational Bond

It's interesting that I tend to use certain cooking utensils for certain tasks and can never change over to something else. For example, I only allow my dough to rise in a particular glass bowl. I have one specific pan that I use for baking/roasting fish. I will only use the heavy aluminum pot my mom used to make fudge for sauce, chili and other hearty foods. And the only thing I will cook cornbread in is the iron skillet that belonged to my Grandmother Robbins.

There were only two things I wanted of my Grandmother's when she died nearly 10 years ago: her Bible and this skillet. Sadly we were unable to find the Bible she made notations in for much of her Christian life, but luckily I was able to use this.

My Grandmother was a product of the south and that means she was a great cook. As a kid I remember her making potato cakes and fried okra and fried corn in this skillet. I can smell it by just thinking about it. Needless to say the skillet is well seasoned, which probably accounts for the reason things I make in it taste so good. I have used this skillet to make fried chicken and pecan crusted catfish, but it is primarily used for cornbread. I am so thankful for this time of the year because it is when I make cornbread more frequently as an accompaniment to stew and chili, which we had for dinner Sunday night.

My Grandmother was also a woman of very strong faith. I recall waking up early in the mornings, before the sun had peeked up over the horizon, to the sound of her voice tearfully calling out to God. It was not a plea of desperation or a cry for help; rather it was her desperate cry to be closer to Him. I used to think she was sad but instead it was a joy filled cry thanking Him for all that she had and for always being with her - in good times and in bad. It was a passionate cry to her God that was more like an overflow of the love she had for him in her heart. It has only been in the past few years that I have truly appreciated that display of love.

Genesis 17:7 says: I will establish my covenant as an everlasting covenant between me and you and your descendants after you for the generations to come, to be your God and the God of your descendants after you.

And as much as I look forward to passing along my Grandmother's skillet to my daughter, my prayer is that the seed of faith that she planted grows even stronger through the years.

Give Thanks

Today is the first day of the Thanksgiving advent-style calendar Jilly and I created last year. We placed it in our hallway and began what is developing into a family tradition - taking the time to write down what Jillian is thankful for each day. Today Jillian said she was thankful for eating spaghetti with daddy and God's blessings.

We had a bit of a challenge with the start of this exercise. She seemed to be confused with the Christmas Advent Calendar where she woke up to something new each morning. After letting me know what she was thankful today she immediately asked if she would have something new tucked inside one of the pockets in the morning. I tried to let her know this is the time we recognized how we are blessed. She completely understood that but still wanted to know if she would have something new in the morning.

Last year was the first year we did an Advent calendar for her and I am beginning to rethink that. First off, we never had one growing up so I'm not simply sharing a childhood tradition. And secondly, even though the gifts were small, she got something every day for 24 days. I think that it stole a bit of the thunder from Christmas morning. Maybe we'll simply give her an inspirational message most mornings and the other days we can give her a new ornament to place on the tree. For now we'll focus on having her recognize how incredibly blessed she is, even if it is something so simple as having the chance to eat spaghetti with her dad.

Planning A Meaningful Christmas

I am involved with a Bible study group that is reading Francis Chan's book Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God. It has been a powerful study and one that caused to me deeply examine my relationship with Christ. I don't think much in Chan's teaching has surprised me. I'm usually honest with myself in regard to my shortfalls. However, this book has highlighted those shortfalls even brighter. The underlying message of this book, for me, has been to change my perception of security and stop clinging to earthly goods in the hope of using them in the future.

We are more than halfway through the book and this week's discussion led several in our smaller group talk about Christmas. We talked about how we are so blessed to need nothing in the way of gifts. We talked about stripping festivities and traditions back to the basics. Several ladies discussed not exchanging gifts and placing more emphasis on the gathering of family. A couple of ladies said that what they remember most of Christmas are not the gifts but the gathering of family.

I have to be honest here because, well, that is not my memory. At least not when I was a kid. Sure, as I get older I can look back and appreciate the time with my grandparents, aunts and whatever cousins were around that year. Our holiday varied each year - one year with my dad's side of the family, the next with my mom's and the next at home with both families welcome to celebrate with us. If I think back to Christmas at my grandparents' home in New Mexico, I immediately envision the platters of Martha Washington chocolates my grandmother made the previous weeks. In Tennessee I remember driving up to Pigeon Forge to look at the beautiful lights and my grandmother's church family stopping by Christmas Eve to exchange gifts and to share dessert. The memories are different depending on location, but the one constant thing that is foremost in my childhood memory is waking up in the morning to see what Santa delivered. Whether it was a doll, rocking horse, kitchen set, the anticipation of what would be under the tree filled my head each Christmas Eve as I went to bed.

I wonder if our parents and grandparents had these conversations back then. Did they ever fret over doting on us so much at Christmas? What has changed? I don't believe that we are that much better off financially than my parents were when I was a kid. Are things just more accessible now? As for us, we don't buy Jillian much throughout the year. She may get a new book or game during the year, but the bulk of her toys are purchased for her at Christmas and her birthday. What Grandma and Nana send is another story, but as far as what we do, it's fairly limited except for those occasions. And the child does not want for anything. Still, I enjoy the opportunity to shower her with gifts when possible. It makes me happy to have the ability to do that for her.

What is so wrong about showering the people we love with gifts? God showered us with the greatest gift, that of the birth of his son Jesus Christ. I get that we should not become so consumed with our earthly possessions that we lose focus on our eternity and serving God. But does that mean we abandon the traditions that provide so many childhood memories? I love the opportunity to find gifts not that people need (because as mentioned, few of us really need anything) rather gifts that they wouldn't purchase for themselves or something that screams their name when I see it. I admit there are some people who are a struggle to shop for and I dread it and do so because it's expected more than anything, but overall I feel blessed to have the opportunity to do for others. I don't believe in quantity or cost, rather the simple gift that says to a person that I have been thinking of them.

As for how all this relates to my study, well it's that I have decided to become much more purposeful about what I plan to purchase for friends and family and how we give to those in need (which I will discuss in another post). My goal to make this a more meaningful and simple Christmas this year is to put more thought into why I am giving a gift. Is the purpose simply to go through the motions of what has become a tradition or is it to glorify God by showering love on the people in my life?

Peace Among Chaos

Psalm 46:10 tells us to "Be still, and know that I am God." It is in those peaceful moments - often times forced peaceful moments - that we are truly able to recognize God's power and majesty.

I will argue, though, that there are times we can feel a closeness with Him even when we're running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Yesterday is a glowing example.

It was one of those days where I thought I had everything planned out but it all went sideways. In my mind the day was perfectly planned: whip up a crock pot meal for a neighbor, quick trip to the doc, dive into the day's school lesson, have lunch, catch up on election results while Jilly naps, deliver meal, daddy home, dinner together. Oh, and let's not forget tending to the little second grade neighbor we watch after school. Still doable and manageable without stress.

A full but peaceful day.

Naturally things got off course a bit: decided to make an additional meal for sick neighbor, hosted a friend and her two daughters for a play date, blew off school, daddy's flight was canceled so didn't expect him home as early as hoped, entertained crazy neighbor kids, rushed to make our dinner, tended to Jilly's first hockey injury, squeezed in a little play time with Jilly and daddy after dinner, cleaned kitchen, prepped breakfast dish for MOPS, went to bed.

I will spare the details, but other than sitting to talk with my friend during the play date (which was periodically interrupted by hollering kids), I don't think I was still one minute of the day. However, I felt it was a peaceful day and a day where I was closer to God than any other this week.

I had the chance to serve Him by bringing comfort in the form of food to a friend. I got the chance to spend some time with a godly woman who I rarely get a chance to talk with. I watched three little girls pour out their sweet innocence through play. I experienced the opportunity to shroud my child with comfort and love after being hit in the mouth with a hockey stick. I had a natural flow partnership with my husband who stepped in to help brown sausage without being asked an in spite of traveling all day.

And all along I talked with God, asking what could happen next. Could I please have a moment to finish one task at a time? Instead, he shepherd me to the next adventure.

We naturally need peace in our lives to slow down and recognize the wonderful gifts we have received, but sometimes the pace needs to be picked up a bit to execute God's work.

Election Day

Jilly and I will be heading to the polls in a bit to select who we believe is the best fit to govern us. I am sad to say that no one really stands out, but our household is fairly conservative so we tend to support candidates whose values are more in line with ours.

This morning I told Jilly that we had to get dressed so we could go vote. Her reply, "what is vote?" My best answer that I thought she could comprehend was that it's our opportunity to choose the people who make the rules for our country. Her response: "God makes the rules."

My prayer is that she is always mindful of that truth. Though the Bible tells us that we are supposed to respect those who govern us, we must know when they are asking us to go against what we know is God's law and do what we know is right. Man, is that more true today than ever and I can only assume it will be even more so as Jilly gets older.

Halloween

Halloween was quite fun this year. It has always been one of my favorite holidays just because I love the whole idea of dressing up into something new for a night. Plus I enjoy all of the activities that take place this time of year - visiting the pumpkin patch, carving jack-o-lanterns, making caramel apples.

Jilly took part in quite a few events the past week. First, our MOPS group visited a retirement home and collected candy from the residents there. The kids were a little scared of the older people, but warmed up once they realized candy was involved. The residents adored the children and had a great time talking with them.
On Saturday we participated in what I hope will become an annual tradition - decorating caramel apples at the local coffee shop. We did this last year and Jilly and her buddies had a great time. This year was no exception. Thankfully Jilly doesn't have the desire to eat her apple, so we are holding on to it for a day or two as a decorative piece then will place it in the trash.
Then finally the big night - Halloween. I'm not so sure what Jilly looked forward to the most - trick-or-treating or seeing everyone else dressed up. She and her friend, Gemma, went out together. I love our neighborhood because not only are there so many kids for such a small community, but all of the neighbors seem to be just as excited. The adults enjoyed seeing the kids dressed up and the kids gladly took their candy.
So now it's over until next year (by the way, Jilly has already decided what she wants to be: an astronaut). We will take down the ghosts and goblins that are scattered in our yard and turn our thoughts toward being grateful for all we have.

Is It Fall?

The calendar says it's fall, but the weather the past couple of weeks says anything but. I would be OK if we were still in Houston, but I always thought you were supposed to feel the seasons in Virginia. Not even the colors are that great this year, thanks to a lack of rain. But still, we are in the throes of one of my favorite times of the year.

Still, I feel as if it is slipping away from me. I am dealing with a tragedy that hit our mom community a week-and-a-half ago. It's a story that I have written as a blog post but have not found the courage to publish just yet. I think that once I see it jump from my head and into words then it will be more real than I want it to be and will have to deal with it on a level that I'm not quite ready to reach. It will appear here soon enough. We can't hide from the truth.

So instead I have been plugging along doing what people in this part of the country do this time of year - loving fresh picked apples, filling my home with the smell of homemade pumpkin everything, and getting ready for Halloween.

JillyBean has been planning for Halloween since June. Yes, June. You would think that you could blow off something that a three-year-old says she wants to do four months later, but not my child. She has a mind like an elephant - she never forgets. Not only does she remember, she remains fixated on it. I cannot tell you how many afternoons we have spent at the lunch table making sure we were on the same page, conversations that were initiated by her. "OK, mama. Let's talk about what we're going to do for Halloween." It was as if we were part of some corporate brainstorming committee trying to launch a new product.

This summer Nana and Doc took Jilly to see a middle school production of Peter Pan. She was hooked (forgive the pun that will shortly come to light). I have the movie on VHS and she has watched it several times. We were in Barnes & Noble and found the book and it is a staple at nap time and bedtime. So which character would my daughter naturally gravitate toward from the story? You'd think being a girl she'd love Tinker Bell. Nope. Or maybe even Peter. Nope. No to Wendy, too. In June Jilly announced that she was going to be Captain Hook for Halloween. Yes, my child was so inspired by the beautiful story of Neverland to become a pirate. The bad guy, though she insists she is going to be a good Hook....

I began searching for a costume that we could buy and nothing quite worked. The best "look" didn't come in her size so we decided to have one made. Not by me, of course. I can't sew. Thanks to a family friend, Jilly will be the pirate of her dreams on Sunday night - hook and all.

I am excited to see her all dressed up. She'll be cute yet fierce. We will trick-or-treat in our neighborhood and hopefully find a new home for all the candy that I am sure she will score. Then hopefully we can fall back into sync and enjoy this lovely time of year.

Music City Baby

We got the chance earlier this month to visit Nashville. Daddy had to go for work and Jilly and I tagged along for a change of scenery and the opportunity to visit with Aunt April. In addition to getting the chance to catch up, Auntie A was gracious enough to do a daylong photo session with Jilly and captured some great images.

I wanted something that captured both Nashville and my child's individual style and sass. Here are the highlights: