Polar Express

Jillian adores The Polar Express movie, book and soundtrack. She will watch the movie all day every day, if I let her. We bought the soundtrack a few weeks ago and I cannot tell you how many times we have listened to it - in the car, in the living room, in her toy room. I am not sure what it is about the story, but she loves it.

Since we were traveling to Tennessee for Thanksgiving we decided it would be a good idea to travel a couple of hours into Bryson City, North Carolina, to let her ride the Polar Express. We didn't tell her our plans. In fact, she had no clue what we were doing as we pulled into the parking lot for the Great Smoky Mountain Railroad. She saw children wearing their PJs and questioned it. I asked her why kids would wear PJs on a train. Her response: "Well, sometimes kids sleep on trains." True, but then I asked why would kids get on a train in their PJs. I knew by the look on her face that she knew the answer but didn't want to say. I believe she was filled with joy but was overwhelmed by the idea. She didn't want to say it out loud, just in case she was wrong.

We took a quick trip to the ladies room and she changed into a pair of Christmas pajamas then we were on our way. Her face showed nothing less than sheer elation. The soundtrack played over the speakers and Jillian sang along with every song as she watched the countryside go by her window. We were served hot chocolate, her first of the season, and it had to be the best she has ever tasted.

We rolled up to the North Pole and Old Saint Nick got on board, giving each child "the first gift of Christmas." She has clung to that bell since she received it, making sure she, we, and everyone she sees can hear it, therefore believing in the Spirit of Christmas.

I have questioned whether or not the trip was worth the amount of money we paid, but closing my eyes and seeing her face makes me realize that how an adult views an event is a world away from a child's view.

Thankful

"Give thanks in all circumstances..." 1 Thessalonians 5:18

I am thankful for:

• A God who provides all my needs
• A Savior, Jesus, whose lessons of loving and serving others is one that I need to follow more closely
• A husband who loves and accepts all of my shortcomings
• A sweet child who fills my days with light, especially when they seem dark
  
• Being born into a loving and supportive family
• Marrying into an accepting and loving family
• Friends who fill my world with wit, wisdom and inspiration
• Strangers who bring more into my life than I will ever know
  

Love in a Shoe Box

For the second year we participated in Operation Christmas Child, a wonderful ministry that delivers Christmas gifts packed in shoe boxes to children around the world. Last year we did one box and Jilly was convinced that a little boy in Haiti, named Carlos, received it. She talks about Carlos a lot and, actually, the little three-year-old visits us from time to time in the form of an imaginary friend.

It's been great having Jilly associate a name with her box. It gives her little mind the ability to visualize an actual child who will receive something special this Christmas. We prayed that the children know that they are loved by someone who has never me them. She talks about Carlos quite a bit, especially the past month, and has been planning what to put in his box. Sometime before Halloween Jilly informed me that Carlos has two sisters - one his age and one older. She thought it would be a good idea if we send gifts to them too. So, we prepared three boxes this year.

Jilly has been blessed with family members who have sent her cards throughout the year and many times those cards have included a dollar or two or five. She wanted to use her money to buy Carlos' gifts. It was solely her idea and came about with absolutely no prompting by me. I have never been more proud of her. So, she dug out $9 and we trotted down to the Family Dollar Store to see what we could get. She bought two cars, two coloring books, three boxes of crayons (one for Carlos and two for his sisters), two Snoopy tooth brushes, some Toy Story soap and toothpaste. I added to it with a few more trinkets and a shirt from Target. Jilly wanted to write a note to her friends, so I took dictation and she made them pretty with stickers.

After preparing the boxes, we said a prayer for each of the children who will receive it. Jilly said that Carlos had a stomach ache so prayed that God would heal him. It make me wonder sometimes if she has a sort of connection of the spirit with the child who received her box last year.

As I previously mentioned, I am reading Francis Chan's Crazy Love as part of a Bible study. The gist of the study is that we should stop clinging to earthly goods in the hope of using them in the future. He really hammers home the point that those of us who have received an abundance of God's blessings should pass on more than we use. In Matthew 25:45 Christ says: "I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me." And in 1 John 3:18 we are told, "...let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth."

I hope that this simple act of sending children goodies that fit in a shoe box becomes a building block for the type of giving heart Jillian develops throughout the course of her life. My prayer is that she becomes a person who, as her recent memory verse - 2 Chronicles 9:7 - instructs, is a cheerful giver.

Dear Santa

We did an official Santa list today. It was rainy and cold and seemed like the perfect indoor activity. Plus, if we don't get this list to Ol Saint Nick soon Jilly may be out of luck this year.

I found some cute paper from Activity Village and we went to work. Jilly was a bit confused because she scratched out a note last week. I gave her a quick lesson on the beauty of nice stationery and no questions were asked.
She went to work on her version and I translated it on another piece of paper. Her main gift "wants" are an art easel and a CD player with microphones so that she can sing along. After that, her request is for the all-too-general "a lot of toys." I told her that she couldn't ask for something like that. For one, Santa doesn't know exactly which toys she likes and secondly, and more importantly, there is no need for "a lot of toys." Finally she said she was OK with those two things, but then added she wants a Horton Hears a Who game as well as a Curious George hide-and-seek game. Santa also has it in his head that he'll throw in the Mary Poppins CD as well as the new Olivia book.

So tomorrow we will place the completed list in an envelope and ship it off to the North Pole.

Generational Bond

It's interesting that I tend to use certain cooking utensils for certain tasks and can never change over to something else. For example, I only allow my dough to rise in a particular glass bowl. I have one specific pan that I use for baking/roasting fish. I will only use the heavy aluminum pot my mom used to make fudge for sauce, chili and other hearty foods. And the only thing I will cook cornbread in is the iron skillet that belonged to my Grandmother Robbins.

There were only two things I wanted of my Grandmother's when she died nearly 10 years ago: her Bible and this skillet. Sadly we were unable to find the Bible she made notations in for much of her Christian life, but luckily I was able to use this.

My Grandmother was a product of the south and that means she was a great cook. As a kid I remember her making potato cakes and fried okra and fried corn in this skillet. I can smell it by just thinking about it. Needless to say the skillet is well seasoned, which probably accounts for the reason things I make in it taste so good. I have used this skillet to make fried chicken and pecan crusted catfish, but it is primarily used for cornbread. I am so thankful for this time of the year because it is when I make cornbread more frequently as an accompaniment to stew and chili, which we had for dinner Sunday night.

My Grandmother was also a woman of very strong faith. I recall waking up early in the mornings, before the sun had peeked up over the horizon, to the sound of her voice tearfully calling out to God. It was not a plea of desperation or a cry for help; rather it was her desperate cry to be closer to Him. I used to think she was sad but instead it was a joy filled cry thanking Him for all that she had and for always being with her - in good times and in bad. It was a passionate cry to her God that was more like an overflow of the love she had for him in her heart. It has only been in the past few years that I have truly appreciated that display of love.

Genesis 17:7 says: I will establish my covenant as an everlasting covenant between me and you and your descendants after you for the generations to come, to be your God and the God of your descendants after you.

And as much as I look forward to passing along my Grandmother's skillet to my daughter, my prayer is that the seed of faith that she planted grows even stronger through the years.

Give Thanks

Today is the first day of the Thanksgiving advent-style calendar Jilly and I created last year. We placed it in our hallway and began what is developing into a family tradition - taking the time to write down what Jillian is thankful for each day. Today Jillian said she was thankful for eating spaghetti with daddy and God's blessings.

We had a bit of a challenge with the start of this exercise. She seemed to be confused with the Christmas Advent Calendar where she woke up to something new each morning. After letting me know what she was thankful today she immediately asked if she would have something new tucked inside one of the pockets in the morning. I tried to let her know this is the time we recognized how we are blessed. She completely understood that but still wanted to know if she would have something new in the morning.

Last year was the first year we did an Advent calendar for her and I am beginning to rethink that. First off, we never had one growing up so I'm not simply sharing a childhood tradition. And secondly, even though the gifts were small, she got something every day for 24 days. I think that it stole a bit of the thunder from Christmas morning. Maybe we'll simply give her an inspirational message most mornings and the other days we can give her a new ornament to place on the tree. For now we'll focus on having her recognize how incredibly blessed she is, even if it is something so simple as having the chance to eat spaghetti with her dad.

Planning A Meaningful Christmas

I am involved with a Bible study group that is reading Francis Chan's book Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God. It has been a powerful study and one that caused to me deeply examine my relationship with Christ. I don't think much in Chan's teaching has surprised me. I'm usually honest with myself in regard to my shortfalls. However, this book has highlighted those shortfalls even brighter. The underlying message of this book, for me, has been to change my perception of security and stop clinging to earthly goods in the hope of using them in the future.

We are more than halfway through the book and this week's discussion led several in our smaller group talk about Christmas. We talked about how we are so blessed to need nothing in the way of gifts. We talked about stripping festivities and traditions back to the basics. Several ladies discussed not exchanging gifts and placing more emphasis on the gathering of family. A couple of ladies said that what they remember most of Christmas are not the gifts but the gathering of family.

I have to be honest here because, well, that is not my memory. At least not when I was a kid. Sure, as I get older I can look back and appreciate the time with my grandparents, aunts and whatever cousins were around that year. Our holiday varied each year - one year with my dad's side of the family, the next with my mom's and the next at home with both families welcome to celebrate with us. If I think back to Christmas at my grandparents' home in New Mexico, I immediately envision the platters of Martha Washington chocolates my grandmother made the previous weeks. In Tennessee I remember driving up to Pigeon Forge to look at the beautiful lights and my grandmother's church family stopping by Christmas Eve to exchange gifts and to share dessert. The memories are different depending on location, but the one constant thing that is foremost in my childhood memory is waking up in the morning to see what Santa delivered. Whether it was a doll, rocking horse, kitchen set, the anticipation of what would be under the tree filled my head each Christmas Eve as I went to bed.

I wonder if our parents and grandparents had these conversations back then. Did they ever fret over doting on us so much at Christmas? What has changed? I don't believe that we are that much better off financially than my parents were when I was a kid. Are things just more accessible now? As for us, we don't buy Jillian much throughout the year. She may get a new book or game during the year, but the bulk of her toys are purchased for her at Christmas and her birthday. What Grandma and Nana send is another story, but as far as what we do, it's fairly limited except for those occasions. And the child does not want for anything. Still, I enjoy the opportunity to shower her with gifts when possible. It makes me happy to have the ability to do that for her.

What is so wrong about showering the people we love with gifts? God showered us with the greatest gift, that of the birth of his son Jesus Christ. I get that we should not become so consumed with our earthly possessions that we lose focus on our eternity and serving God. But does that mean we abandon the traditions that provide so many childhood memories? I love the opportunity to find gifts not that people need (because as mentioned, few of us really need anything) rather gifts that they wouldn't purchase for themselves or something that screams their name when I see it. I admit there are some people who are a struggle to shop for and I dread it and do so because it's expected more than anything, but overall I feel blessed to have the opportunity to do for others. I don't believe in quantity or cost, rather the simple gift that says to a person that I have been thinking of them.

As for how all this relates to my study, well it's that I have decided to become much more purposeful about what I plan to purchase for friends and family and how we give to those in need (which I will discuss in another post). My goal to make this a more meaningful and simple Christmas this year is to put more thought into why I am giving a gift. Is the purpose simply to go through the motions of what has become a tradition or is it to glorify God by showering love on the people in my life?

Peace Among Chaos

Psalm 46:10 tells us to "Be still, and know that I am God." It is in those peaceful moments - often times forced peaceful moments - that we are truly able to recognize God's power and majesty.

I will argue, though, that there are times we can feel a closeness with Him even when we're running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Yesterday is a glowing example.

It was one of those days where I thought I had everything planned out but it all went sideways. In my mind the day was perfectly planned: whip up a crock pot meal for a neighbor, quick trip to the doc, dive into the day's school lesson, have lunch, catch up on election results while Jilly naps, deliver meal, daddy home, dinner together. Oh, and let's not forget tending to the little second grade neighbor we watch after school. Still doable and manageable without stress.

A full but peaceful day.

Naturally things got off course a bit: decided to make an additional meal for sick neighbor, hosted a friend and her two daughters for a play date, blew off school, daddy's flight was canceled so didn't expect him home as early as hoped, entertained crazy neighbor kids, rushed to make our dinner, tended to Jilly's first hockey injury, squeezed in a little play time with Jilly and daddy after dinner, cleaned kitchen, prepped breakfast dish for MOPS, went to bed.

I will spare the details, but other than sitting to talk with my friend during the play date (which was periodically interrupted by hollering kids), I don't think I was still one minute of the day. However, I felt it was a peaceful day and a day where I was closer to God than any other this week.

I had the chance to serve Him by bringing comfort in the form of food to a friend. I got the chance to spend some time with a godly woman who I rarely get a chance to talk with. I watched three little girls pour out their sweet innocence through play. I experienced the opportunity to shroud my child with comfort and love after being hit in the mouth with a hockey stick. I had a natural flow partnership with my husband who stepped in to help brown sausage without being asked an in spite of traveling all day.

And all along I talked with God, asking what could happen next. Could I please have a moment to finish one task at a time? Instead, he shepherd me to the next adventure.

We naturally need peace in our lives to slow down and recognize the wonderful gifts we have received, but sometimes the pace needs to be picked up a bit to execute God's work.

Election Day

Jilly and I will be heading to the polls in a bit to select who we believe is the best fit to govern us. I am sad to say that no one really stands out, but our household is fairly conservative so we tend to support candidates whose values are more in line with ours.

This morning I told Jilly that we had to get dressed so we could go vote. Her reply, "what is vote?" My best answer that I thought she could comprehend was that it's our opportunity to choose the people who make the rules for our country. Her response: "God makes the rules."

My prayer is that she is always mindful of that truth. Though the Bible tells us that we are supposed to respect those who govern us, we must know when they are asking us to go against what we know is God's law and do what we know is right. Man, is that more true today than ever and I can only assume it will be even more so as Jilly gets older.

Halloween

Halloween was quite fun this year. It has always been one of my favorite holidays just because I love the whole idea of dressing up into something new for a night. Plus I enjoy all of the activities that take place this time of year - visiting the pumpkin patch, carving jack-o-lanterns, making caramel apples.

Jilly took part in quite a few events the past week. First, our MOPS group visited a retirement home and collected candy from the residents there. The kids were a little scared of the older people, but warmed up once they realized candy was involved. The residents adored the children and had a great time talking with them.
On Saturday we participated in what I hope will become an annual tradition - decorating caramel apples at the local coffee shop. We did this last year and Jilly and her buddies had a great time. This year was no exception. Thankfully Jilly doesn't have the desire to eat her apple, so we are holding on to it for a day or two as a decorative piece then will place it in the trash.
Then finally the big night - Halloween. I'm not so sure what Jilly looked forward to the most - trick-or-treating or seeing everyone else dressed up. She and her friend, Gemma, went out together. I love our neighborhood because not only are there so many kids for such a small community, but all of the neighbors seem to be just as excited. The adults enjoyed seeing the kids dressed up and the kids gladly took their candy.
So now it's over until next year (by the way, Jilly has already decided what she wants to be: an astronaut). We will take down the ghosts and goblins that are scattered in our yard and turn our thoughts toward being grateful for all we have.