Woo Hoo For Number 2

Today was a good day at Potty Training Camp. JillyBean actually poopied in the potty this morning. It was quite an accomplishment. She was extremely proud, but even happier to finally get a lollipop for a reward.

We ventured out for a play date and she had an accident shortly after we arrived. This is where things can get frustrating, but I refuse to let this be a stressful process. She went to the potty and not five minutes later I realized that she pooed in her pants. Thankfully it wasn't bad (and I'm sorry for too much information), but still it shows how potty training can wear on a parent. She had just been to the potty. Why couldn't she have told me she needed to go again? This is where I need to remember that I am an adult and she is a child.

Sometimes I wonder if we expect too much from two-year-olds. They have been in this world for a very short two years, yet it seems like we expect they develop manners and a level of understanding and compassion that many adults don't display. I don't remember being out in public around strangers as much when I was a child as kids are today. We certainly didn't eat in restaurants as often as we do now. Preschool was not a concept that was considered until age four - there was nursery school, but no preschool.

So much is going on in their tiny little brains right now. On one side there is this great need to become independent but on the other side they have a need to be babied. I mentioned in my last post that my attitude toward potty training this time around has changed making the process a little bit easier. That attitude has also spilled over into the rest of our daily interactions and I have noticed fewer outbursts and tantrums (from both of us). I feel as if I am a bit more relaxed as a parent now; not relaxed in that I've given up and I'm giving in, but relaxed in a way that allows me to enjoy parenthood more. I have learned to take deep breaths and pray for strength when I feel frustrated and that calmness seems to wash over Jilly. After all, she is not the only one who has had two short years to figure out life. I entered uncharted waters only two years ago as well.

today Jilly is thankful for Ma

By George

One of JillyBean's greatest loves is Curious George. She adores the little monkey and we read his stories every day. We have been reading George stories every day for a year. Yes, I get a bit bored with the same thing day after day after day, but it brings so much joy to Jilly.

George came to the local Barnes & Noble last month and Jilly was so excited to get the chance to see him. However, once confronted with a life-size George, she sort of shied away. She even followed him through the store but would not get more than five feet from him. She wasn't exactly scared, more like overcome with the idea of meeting someone who has become a best friend through the pages of a book. Talking to her, though, you would think that they sat down together and had tea. She still beams, nearly a month later, when she talks about seeing George at the bookstore. Every time we go to the store she says: "this is where I saw George."

One of the gifts JillyBean is receiving for Christmas is a Curious George book and CD gift set. I never thought of an audiobook as a good gift idea for a child, but it's actually pretty ingenious. Nana sent Jilly audio versions of Little Bear and Mouse Tales after she broke her arm. They have been wonderful alternatives to flipping on the TV or even music on many occasions. She enjoys listening to the stories while playing in her "toy room" or coloring. We haven't taken them with us in the car because, well, listening to audiobooks makes me sleepy and that's not a good thing when I'm driving.

I am so thankful that Jilly has developed a zest for books. She loves to read and actually told me to sit down on her floor while she sat in the rocking chair and read a book to me. The obvious benefit to a love of books is for the development of her language and reading skills. But for me, daily reading of stories has helped to develop her imagination, something that cannot be taught in school.

In other news, today was an OK day in regard to potty training. She had one accident and fussed a bit when she had potty breaks in the afternoon. Today was more of a struggle, but we got through it. This is the biggest change over the last time we attempted to potty train - my attitude. Previously I would get frustrated when she would "fight" me to go potty but now I make it into a game. I laugh at her antics but am still insistent. Then when she actually produces, I make an even bigger deal out her accomplishment. This has caused less stress for both of us and I think it's the key to our success.

today Jilly is thankful for her dog Sandy

Give Thanks

I am so thankful that the potty training is going pretty smoothly so far. Today was Day 3 and Jilly had no accidents. We made a quick outing and she came home dry and she used the potty on cue every 45 minutes. She even woke up from her nap dry and just called out to us from bed, upset that she had wet her Pull Up.

Since we were home almost all day, JillyBean and I dove into a little craft project for Thanksgiving. Like most kids, Jilly found Halloween exciting and is already anticipating Christmas. I want to make sure that Thanksgiving doesn't get overlooked.

Thanks to my wonderful MOPS group, I came across a project for a Thanksgiving advent-style calendar. We made ours with 15 pockets, since I couldn't get more than five on a row, and we are counting down. We included the scripture from 1 Thessalonians 5:18, "give thanks in all circumstances..." at the top.

Jilly placed all of the pumpkins and leaves on the calendar pockets. It was a fun little project and it gave me a chance to talk to JillyBean about how blessed she is and how important it is for us to thank people and to thank God (through our prayers) for all of those blessings. She doesn't quite get "thankful" so I explained it as things that make us happy.

After the calendar was complete, Jilly had to tell me five things that make her happy (we had to do five to make up the days we have missed). So far Jilly is thankful for:

1. Granddad
2. Santa Claus
3. Mommy
4. Daddy
5. Nanny (Nana)

We will place a note in each pocket leading up to Thanksgiving then we will read them all that day as a reminder of all the blessings we have in our lives.

This is an important exercise this time of year and one that I want to make a tradition for our family, especially leading to Christmas. Too often we are busy trying to fulfill Christmas gift lists that we forget to say thank you for the amazing things that we encounter every day.

Day Two

JillyBean did great today, her second full day to Potty Training Boot Camp. She had a little accident this morning, but it wasn't much. We went to church and since she hadn't done anything but tinkle yesterday, I didn't want her Sunday school teachers to have to deal with dirty training pants so she went in Pull Ups. And just as I thought, she pooed not five minutes after I dropped her off in her class. Her teachers said that she did use the potty, as well, but this other business is going to take a little more work.

After church Jilly and I had to run an errand. We went to he bookstore and she went to the potty there. It took us about an hour to finish up what we needed to do and drive home and I was surprised to find that she was still dry. We went back to the 45-minute rule and she did great. She even told me she needed to potty after I had put her down for a nap and woke up from her nap dry.

I am going to call her doctor tomorrow to talk to her about how we are handling this. The results are positive, but I am finding that JillyBean just goes a little every time. I feel blessed that she doesn't have to sit on the potty for extended periods of time without producing, but I fear that she is holding back a bit. Maybe I have no cause for concern, but it would be nice to get a little guidance. I also want to learn how we get beyond the timer reminders. I know that we're only on Day 2, but I want to make sure that we are headed in the right direction.

Potty Boot Camp

It was a year ago when I posted that we were going to begin potty training. We started off great, but got a little sidetracked then lost all momentum. We're starting over again and this time there is no turning back.

At the time I wrote that I believed the parent must be just as ready, if not more so, than the child. Jilly had clearly expressed a desire and interest to use the big-girl potty at the time, and I thought that we could tackle it, but I was not mentally prepared for the challenge. I am now.

This time around I am taking a cue from a friend who simply told her daughter that they were out of diapers and couldn't buy more. That day came yesterday for us. When Jilly got up from her nap I told her that was it with diapers and that it was time for us to move forward. She was pretty accepting, especially since she finally got the chance to wear her new big-girl Elmo underwear.

Even though we have cloth training pants, I am not using them at home. Instead we are using actual underwear because they aren't as absorbent. I don't think she felt too uncomfortable in the training pants the past few times we've used them and this way there is no mistaking that she is wet.

Last night I set the timer for every half hour and when it went off Jilly and I would take a little trip to the potty. Using a timer works much easier than simply telling her she needs to sit down on the potty. She produced each time we went to the potty, even if it was a little. This morning she told me she needed to potty, and went, three times. Those three times, though, were within five minutes of each other. We upped the potty breaks from 30 minutes to 45 and even did great with a short outing to the grocery store and quick lunch. However, shortly after we got home she had an "accident." She had two more within a half hour. I think that it was because she was outside playing and was a little too preoccupied to think about much else. After that, though, all went well.

We put her to bed, at nap time and at night, in pull-ups, but that's the only time she wears them. When we're out during this "training" period she will wear the cloth training pants only because it wont be quite as messy if she has an accident. Those outings will be few this coming week. I have all kinds of new puzzles, craft projects and a couple of new movies to keep us occupied. I know that I need to stay strong and dedicated to this process.

Jilly has to be out of diapers by Christmas. HAS TO BE. For one, she wants her own lip gloss and I told her that only big girls get their own and big girls don't wear diapers. Santa will bring some to her if he finds out that she is no longer wearing diapers. Also, if she's not potty trained by the end of the year then we're too close to her third birthday and I REALLY don't want a three-year-old in diapers. There are too many activities that I want her to get involved with by the time she's three and she can't if she isn't potty trained. Plus, I'm tired of buying diapers.

My posts this next week will be focused on our journey. I hope that I will have positive reports, though I am sure that it won't be easy.

Dinner Bell

A friend of a friend recently started a new blog that I am following. Bringing Dinner Back chronicles one family's goal to eat at least one meal together every day for 53 weeks. Their journey interests me because eating as a family is extremely important to me.

As a kid we almost always had dinner together; even during the years that I played softball and the week was filled with either practice or games. And both of my parents worked outside the home. My memories of the ritual are not all happy. In fact, I tend to remember shedding a lot of tears because my father would torture me by making me eat peas, lima beans, or some other nasty stuff. As an aside, I will not put a pea anywhere near mouth today, yet my child cannot get enough of them. Still, looking back, family dinner was important because no matter how many battles I lost in regard to the food I ate, it was a time that we were all together and could talk without distractions.

According to my husband, his mother read an article recently about parents who believe that children should "earn" their way to the family dinner table. The information from the article comes to me third hand, so I may be taking it out of its original context, but essentially the story said that some families make their children eat separate from the rest of the family until they learn the proper way to sit and act at the table. This idea appalls me. Since I view the dinner table as an extension of the family, I do not believe that anyone should have to earn their place in that family. Plus, how can a child learn the proper way to act at the table unless that child sees it modeled for them? I understand that some families have crazy schedules and it simply does not work to hold dinner, but no one should be cast aside.

The ritual is not always easy with a toddler. I am lucky that Jilly is a pretty good eater. I do not make it a habit to make a separate meal for her, though I usually include at least one thing that I know she will eat (I'm usually safe with peas and green beans). I admit that there are nights when she has gone to bed without eating dinner. I am OK with that because I do not believe that children will allow themselves to starve and that they go through phases when they simply aren't hungry at dinner time. However, I do break the rule and prepare something different for her when I'm in the mood for a dish I know she won't eat - like spicy shrimp creole.

Each Friday I compose a weekly menu, which is when I do my weekly grocery shopping trip. I make a list each week of what is needed for each meal along with staples (milk, bread, cereal, etc.) and buy only what is on the list, unless there is some super special (the store where I shop often has buy-one-get-one-free deals on meat so I'll buy even if it's not on the list so I can build it into a future menu). This can be a pretty daunting task over time. I tend to get bored with certain dishes but they're easy and I know everyone will eat them. It is also very hard to be the main person who sets the dinner agenda every single day of the week, every week of the month, every month of the year. But by doing this, we are able to wrangle our grocery budget and I'm not staring at the inside of the refrigerator at 5 p.m. each night trying to figure out what to make. The list is on the refrigerator door so even BeanieDaddy knows what to expect each night. It also keeps our household budget under control with fewer dinners/lunches out since BeanieDad doesn't mind taking leftovers to work. I buy fresh and usually organic vegetables, and we don't do prepared foods. Therefore, coupon clipping doesn't help much with the bottom line. Still, I get away with spending between $70 and $90 each week and that includes at least one meal with fresh fish.

My hope is that not only will Jilly be exposed to all kinds of food and develop a diverse palate but that dinner time is when we can connect as a family. I know that sitting down together each night may become more difficult as Jilly gets older and has her own social calendar, but hopefully putting this practice into place now will make it easier.

Leaf Man

JillyBean has been obsessed with leaves ever since the fall colors began to appear last month. We cannot go outside without her picking up at least one leaf just to hand it off to me to save. "Oooh, mama," she says. "This is a good one." Needless to say, we have quite a collection of yellow, orange and red leaves of all shapes. And I can't bring myself to throw them away. Finally last week I got an idea - let's make a leaf man.

I was inspired by two things: the beautifully illustrated book, Leaf Man, by Lois Ehlert; and our first week's art class where Jilly used glue water as a homemade decoupage.

This morning Jilly and I took a little stroll through the woods near our house to add to our collection and also to find a few other odds and ends to complete our leaf man. I know, it seems strange that we would gather more leaves, but in order to make a proper leaf man you must have a vast selection of leaves.

I made the glue water using one part water and about one-and-a-half parts glue (you need a little more glue for the leaves than you would if you were doing a project with paper). Then we pulled out the construction paper and went to work. First we picked out which leaves would represent which body part, arranged them on the paper, then dipped our paint brushes in the glue water and smeared it all over the leaves and paper to stick. We used acorn shells for the eyes and simply glued them on to the face.


I'm very proud of the way these guys turned out as is Jilly. She simply beamed as she admired the final creation. She finally has a permanent home for her beloved leaves.

Halloween

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. I loved it as a kid, getting dressed up in costumes and begging for candy. How can it get any better?

I was extremely blessed to have had a grandmother who was a wonderful seamstress. She made every Halloween costume I wore through high school. I was a bunny, a clown, Cinderella (my fave), Raggedy Ann, a lion, Snoopy....It was great.

Sadly, JillyBean wasn't lucky enough to have grandmothers who can sew. Instead, she is blessed with grandmothers who are fabulous shoppers. No homemade costumes for this kid, but still, we've found some really great things for her to dress up the past three years.

This year she is a cowgirl. My mother found the costume and Nana found the red boots. It's all too perfect. What I love, though, is that she sort of looks like I did at her age. My grandmother made a cowgirl costume for me when I was almost two-and-a-half (same age as JillyBean), though it wasn't for Halloween. Instead, I believe that I wore it to the fair. I wasn't lucky enough to have genuine cowgirl boots, though.

Me as a cowgirl at two-and-a-half years old

Jillian as a cowgirl at two-and-a-half years old

Who knows? Maybe I can learn to sew and JillyBean will have some super cute homemade costumes to trick-or-treat in the future.

Jilly and Lou Lou

Auntie April bought a stuffed lamb chair as a shower gift before Jilly was born. It's absolutely adorable and her name is Lou Lou. Once JB came along we would prop her up in the chair each week to take her picture. It was a way for us to see how much she had grown.

Lou Lou still has a prominent place in Jilly's room. Now she is able to sit in the chair and does so quite a bit while reading or playing with her dolls. She wanted her picture taken with Lou Lou today and I thought that it would be fun to compare the two over the past two-and-a-half years.

One Week Old

Three Weeks Old

Two Months
Three Months
Seven Months
One-and-a-half

Two-and-a-half

Seeing Spots

As I have mentioned several times, Jilly loves doing art projects. She especially enjoys painting more so than coloring. She can sit at her table and paint for hours but tires from coloring after a few minutes.

Several moms that I know are a little apprehensive when it comes to pulling out paints because of the potential mess. Well, here's a great alternative that gives kids a break from the crayons - dot art. Nana bought Jilly some Dot Art markers last week. We got them out after JillyBean got up from her nap and she created all kinds of fun pictures for more than an hour. I finally had to tell her that we needed to put them away so that we could use them another day. There are many projects that you can do with dot markers. On one paper, I wrote Jilly's name and had her follow the lines, dotting each letter. We also experimented with mixing colors - yellow and blue for green, yellow and red for orange, red and blue to make purple. The fun is limitless.

Me and My Girl

Beanie Nana and great-grandmother were in town this past week and it was nice having them here to visit. On Friday, JillyBean decided she wanted to stay home with them instead of accompanying me on our weekly grocery trip. At first I thought that it was a great idea - I would be able to run in, knock out everything on the list and get home in no time.

As soon as I started my trek over the mountain I began to get a little sad. I kept looking in my rear view mirror to see Jilly and had to stop myself several times from asking her a question. It was very lonely. Plus, it didn't take me any less time to shop than if she would have been with me. It hammered home a notion that I had often felt but never truly realized until then - I like being with my daughter.

Jilly has a very independent spirit. As she grows older she is more willing to explore that side of herself. Also, she is at the age where we are having to consider placing her in preschool. Is this something we want to do now or wait until she's closer to school age? I certainly don't think she needs to go to preschool to get a jump start on her academics. Everything that they teach them at this age is what we do on a daily basis at home - letters, colors, numbers, etc. I don't think she needs it for socialization because she plays with so many different kids on a daily basis. Some parents view the three hours their children is in preschool as an opportunity for them to have their own time, or a brief break from parenthood. I have mixed feelings about this. For one, Jilly does need to get used to being away from me and in the care of "strangers." But she's doing well with her Sunday school class as well as at MOPs. And, frankly, I don't know what I would do without her.

I made the decision a year-and-a-half ago to stay home with her and I am not ready to be without her. Sure, there are a few things that I could do every now and again that would be easier without having to take her with me, but overall, those are very few and far between.

She's my buddy. And I mean that in the sense that I really enjoy being with my child and not that I'm her "friend" more so than I am her mother. I enjoy her company. She makes me laugh and I love hearing her stories and her perspective on everything that she sees and experiences. Our time together is fleeting. Soon she will be in school, she'll be running out the door to play with her friends, she'll go off to college and, well, move on with her own life. I am not ready to let go of her now.

The 'hood

One of the reasons for my absence this summer is that we moved to a new house in the middle of June. As anyone who has moved knows, it takes a little time to get settled and then you still feel as if you're playing catch-up with the rest of your life. The house is nice and we love it, but it is made close to perfect thanks to the neighborhood. Not many homes comprise this place, but pretty much everyone who lives here has children - infants to middle-schoolers (not sure if there are many high school-aged kids yet). And while there are plenty of family neighborhoods, this one reminds me of mine when I was a kid because the kids - hold on here - actually play outside. Shocking, I know, in this day and age. On Friday night I heard kids running around outside until at least 11 p.m. It's great.

On Saturday night our across-the-street neighbors opened up their backyard to the kids for movie night. It was awesome. They had a huge blow-up screen and played The Wizard of Oz (a movie that I despise, but oh well). Kids came over when it got dark and sat on their blankets on the lawn. They munched on popcorn and other snacks and had a great time. It was just as much fun for the parents, even if we didn't watch the movie.

This is the type of experience that I want for JillyBean as she grows up because it's what I had. I want her around neighbors who she will form strong bonds with as they grow older. I want her to have long-lasting relationships with childhood friends and share stories of running through the neighborhood on bikes, play at each others' homes and spending the night together. I know that she will have friends who live in other parts of town, at church and in school, but having those daily play partners are important.

Helpless

A week ago I was riding in the front of an ambulance while my husband tried to console our crying child in the back. I have never felt so helpless in my life.

While on vacation at Bald Head Island, JillyBean fell off of a bench and broke her arm. My first thought was thankfully it was only an arm. But then when I heard her scream, I felt numb. My baby was in pain and there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn't even console her or hug her since Beanie Daddy had her in his arms and a transfer was not possible.

The whole scene seemed much more dramatic at the time than it does today. We were on an island, didn't have access to our car and needed to get to the mainland via ferry to get help for her. She was calm once we got to the hospital, which totally amazed me. She was especially excited to have a picture taken of her bones. What a champ. All the time I tried to calm the butterflies inside my stomach. The worse part was having to hold her down while the nurses put an IV in her arm.

As for the break, it's about as good as it can get if you're going to break your arm. She will be back to her old self in a few weeks, though you cannot tell that much has changed.

Looking back, though at the image of my baby lying in a hospital ER bed and hooked up to monitors is still upsetting. I am extremely thankful that we were there for a seemingly minor incident but can't help think of the countless moms and dads whose children have to deal with major illness or who experience a major injury. All my child was hooked up to was a blood pressure machine. She didn't have tubes to feed her, help her breathe or to relieve pain. How can these parents endure such a scene much less live with the knowledge that they basically live in a hospital?

This whole incident has prompted me to get involved with our local Ronald McDonald House. I believe that it is a wonderful resource for parents who are having to care for terminally ill children.

It is my desire to teach Jilly that is important to share the many blessings that have been given to her by God. It is the greatest lesson my mother taught, and still teaches, me and one that I want to see continue with my daughter. I believe that as she grows older, helping the families of sick children is something that she will easily understand. We are trying to get it in her head that she is a very lucky girl but not every child has what she has. She is still young and can't understand, but I believe that it is never too early to share the message.

Good Bye Summer

It is crazy to me that summer is already coming to an end. Each summer seems to get shorter and shorter as I get older, so I hope that the warm lazy days seem to linger a bit more for JillyBean. These were always my favorite days as a kid - getting to stay out late, run through the neighborhood with friends, swim - and I want Jilly to have the same experience.

We made our last batch of fruit pops last week, and wouldn't you know it they were the best. The peaches seemed much sweeter than those we used the last go around and I have decided that fresh peach pops are a little more refreshing and tastier than strawberry, even though I like to eat strawberries more on their own. The fruit pops will soon be replaced with homemade applesauce, baked cinnamon apples, pumpkin bread and hot cocoa. Not bad replacements, but certainly not as fun to eat as frozen pops or fudgesicles.

Our summer is not officially over. We still have our summer vacation approaching, although the calendar will say that it is fall. We are heading to Bald Head Island in a week and are holding out hope that the warm weather sticks around a bit longer for a few nice afternoons on the beach. But once we return our focus will be on getting ready for Halloween, then Thanksgiving and then Christmas is upon us. It's hard to believe that the year coming to an end.

Cre8ive

JillyBean has been exploring her creative side quite a bit lately. She has always enjoyed painting, using modeling clay, and building castles out of blocks, but she is gravitating to these activities more lately. To encourage this, I have decided to enroll her in a couple of art programs this fall as well as our continuation of Kindermusik.

The first actual art class Jilly is taking is through the Charlotteville Parks & Recreation department and is called Messes and Masterpieces. I think it's a quite fitting title. I am really excited for this because it will expose Jilly to all art forms. The second program I enrolled Jilly in is through the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts. I had originally gone on their site to find out what exhibits they have on display, only to learn that the museum is basically closed for renovations. However, their monthly preschool program is still in full swing. This class excites me because it will introduce JB to actual works of art while giving her the opportunity create her own.

Teaching Jilly art is something I need help with. Sure, we can color, paint and do projects at home, but I am not a very artistic person. In spite of being a professional writer, I have little patience for dealing with the details necessary to be proficient in art. I don't lose myself in drawing or painting like others do. I was never a big coloring book kid (drew outside of the lines and rarely completed a picture). I want Jilly to have a real opportunity to explore this side of her. Maybe she will bore of it and maybe she will excel. Either way, I believe it is important to grant her some exposure.

Bedtime Stories

Like most parents, we have read to JillyBean since she was born. It has been part of our nightly routine since Day 1. And as she has grown and gained a greater interest in stories, we read to her throughout the day.

Now we have taken the next turn - sending her to bed WITH a book. Obviously she is not able to read at this point, but she has heard the stories so many times that she has either memorized the words (like The Digging-est Dog) or gets the gist of the story (like Duck in the Truck). Every nap time she requests to take a book, or two or three, to bed so that she can "read" it to Lilly, her frog, and to the rest of the half dozen or so babies that sleep with her. At first I was a bit hesitant, because I really wanted her to nap. My fear was that she would just sit up there and "play" and not rest. (The rule at nap time is that if she doesn't sleep, she has to stay there for 2 hours). But it was too cute to see her sitting at the side of her crib, with Lilly next to her, and listening in as she told the story.

In a way it has reinforced to us that she is actually developing reading comprehension. BeanieDaddy will change up a story every now and again and she'll pick up on what is different and correct him. She also asks Lilly the same questions that we ask her when we read - like how many candles are on Curious George's birthday cake?

And while in the beginning the reading in bed would lead to less sleep time, lately she has fallen asleep shortly after she finishes the story. I am unsure how so-called child experts would view this practice and what it means for toddler sleep requirements, but I think that the results are positive now and down the road. For one, it fosters a love of books and stories, which will help with her language and thinking skills. I also believe that it has helped to develop Jilly's incredible imagination.

Life Lessons

I knew that it had been a while since I had posted, but I didn't think that it had been this long. I checked in a couple of weeks ago, saw the previous post then was too ashamed to start up again. It's kind of like that old friend who you haven't talked to in a while but both of you are embarrassed to pick up the phone and call each other then pretty soon the friendship dissolves. That is not my intention here.

So much has happened the past couple of months. We have moved and JillyBean is growing much faster than I ever expected. I will update on that soon - promise - but something happened the other day and I have have to write about it so that I can move past it. Hopefully.

We live in a new neighborhood that is filled with kids and most are around the same age - elementary school. Jilly has two little friends who we have known for about a year, and it is nice to have them so close by for play time. I love it here because it is nice to know that kids still actually play outside. I hear them running around after dark and it reminds me of summer when I was a kid. I was pretty shocked one night when I heard them outside our back window playing red rover. I didn't think that today's more sophisticated children knew about that game.

On Tuesday Jilly woke up from her nap and a group of girls and boys were at "war" with one another. Boys against girls, water gun style. Jilly wanted to go out and watch them play, so we took a walk. The battle had pretty much come to an end by the time we got outside, but the girls were making sure they were prepared in case the boys returned. Their water blasters were locked and loaded.

For as friendly and fun as JillyBean is, she has developed a shy side. I encourage her to "be brave" when she approaches new kids and when she wants to play with them. I let her know that if she stands back, she may miss out on the fun. So as we approached these girls - who are between the ages of 7 and 10 - she looked at me and said "I'm going to ask, mama." That meant she was going to ask if she could play with them. I told her to be brave and if she wanted to play that she needed to get closer to them so that they could hear he ask. She inched her way toward the group and kept looking back at me for encouragement. I told her to keep going.

Now, these girls are super sweet and they really enjoy helping out with the little ones around here, but I don't think they really know what to do when a two-year-old approaches them; especially when they've just completed a battle with the opposite sex. There came a point when an invisible line seemed to be drawn between Jilly and the girls and they just stared at each other. I stayed back and did not let the girls know what she was doing, just to see what would happen. Soon, Jilly retreated but I was proud of the progress that she had made.

What went through my mind next has been weighing on me ever since. I suddenly got a flash of the day when my child will want to play with a group of friends and they'll tell her that they don't want to play with her. I can see it now: she'll run home with tears in her eyes, heart broken not understanding why kids she plays with on a regular basis all of a sudden don't want to be her friend. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes so I can't begin to imagine what it will be like when it actually happens. On the other hand, I am also sure that there will be a day when she will be the mean girl and say something like that to her friend, but that's for a different post.

For the past couple of days I have been playing the scenario over and over in my head. I don't know why I am obsessing on this. I think that mothers of girls have a very unique role compared to mothers of boys. The self-confidence of girls is so fragile and the desire to be accepted is so strong. I am trying hard to instill in Jilly that she is a very special and very loved little girl. That no matter what happens or whatever anyone says, she will always be loved by her family and, most importantly, by God. I tell her that she is lucky to have so many people who love her. I let her know that God made her a very special and that no one is like her. I encourage her and praise her uniqueness. I know that when you're a kid, though, it doesn't matter how much mom and dad showers you with love, if the kid down the street makes fun of you then it's the end of the world.

What I have concluded is that the best thing to say to her is nothing at all. When she comes home at 5, 15, 25 or even 35 with a broken heart, my job is to be waiting for her with open arms and a shoulder to cry on.

An Open Letter to the Disney Channel

Dear Disney Channel Executives:

I was never one of those moms who swore that she would keep her child away from the television. Let's face it - I am a television junkie. I do not have the discipline to stay away from my favorite shows and certainly cannot hide it from my daughter. I am thankful for the DV-R because it has changed my life. I still watch the shows that I love, but I am no longer a slave to network schedules.

However, I do limit what my daughter watches. Besides, there is very little that holds her attention. She is a huge fan of Elmo but doesn't ask to watch Sesame Street. She gets excited when she sees Dora in the store, but doesn't care much for her on TV. The only show that the child apparently needs to watch on a regular basis is Little Einsteins. She loves Rocket, wants to be June, and brushes her teeth twice a day with Annie. We have the DV-R set up to record every episode and replay it each day before lunch. Her routine typically follows the format: morning activities, Einsteins, lunch, book, nap. Sometimes we're out a little late or eat lunch out with friends so we save Einsteins for when I am getting ready for dinner. In fact, she sometimes gets a double dose of the little world travelers because it allows me the opportunity to get things done in the kitchen without being disturbed. I can also use an extra viewing as a reward, or a way to coax her into doing something that she doesn't want to do.

So you can understand why I am extremely upset with your recent line-up change. No longer does Leo lead the gang on a musical adventure each weekday. We are now limited to Saturday and Sunday episodes. It doesn't really matter that she's seen all of the episodes a couple dozen times, she adores the characters. In addition, she is actually learning about music terminology. She takes Kindermusik and I was so excited one day when Ms. Pam played the block and she looked up at me and said "staccato." She has also used the term pianissimo correctly. When she hears pieces by Mozart and Tchaikovsky on the radio, she identifies them with the show. She has shown a great interest in all types of instruments thanks to Quincy, makes up songs thanks to Annie and tries to follow June's ballet moves.

Did I mention that she is only two? I know that this doesn't make her some kind of savant, but it shows that she is actually learning something that I don't have the knowledge teach her.

Please rethink your schedule and bring Leo, Annie, June, Quincy and Rocket back on a more regular basis. I can't begin to imagine what we would do if you stop airing the show altogether. We enjoy Handy Manny from time to time and she will request My Friends Tigger and Pooh frequently, but when given a choice, she always picks Einsteins.

Kind Regards,

Beanie Mom

Goodbye

JillyBean and Aunt Evelyn playing checkers on Easter

Beanie Dad's Great Aunt Evelyn died last night. She had been fighting Lymphoma for quite some time. While we are going to miss her very much, we feel incredibly blessed that she is leaving us now. When we saw her at Christmas she looked horrible. She was losing her hair, she was so frail and used all of her energy to entertain company. She turned 90 in early January and we believed that we would get a call at any time that she had passed. Oddly enough, Evelyn got a clean bill of health from her doctor about the same time my dad died. It was amazing news. We saw her at Easter and she looked like her old self. Then last week she began to take a turn for the worse and slipped away last night with Daddy's grandmother and mom at her side. Although she was in horrible pain this past week, she had four wonderful months and I am happy that our last memory of her is of her strength and spunk.

Evelyn reminded me so much of my grandfather. Ever the perfectionist, she was a fighter. She loved life and loved her family and wanted nothing more than to spend just one more day on this Earth. My grandfather was the same and I so wish that they could have met. They would have become fast friends.

A group of my good friends have formed a Relay for Life team, which supports the American Cancer Society. The team name is Moms on a Mission. Check out their page and consider giving them a donation to help fight cancer. Or you can purchase a luminaria in honor of someone you love. We know that Evelyn's spirit will shine bright for eternity.

My Boys

JillyBean LOVES playing with boys. I am not sure what it is - maybe they have cooler toys - but she really enjoys running around with boys. I guess for a girl that she can be a little rough. That's probably our fault for constantly spinning her around and "wrestling" with her from such an early age. She can be a bit of a dare devil. But she also very girlie and loves to play with her dolls and wear dresses. And pink jeans. I cannot tell you how many mornings we have to have the pink jeans discussion. She would wear them every other day if I let her, or if she had more than two pair.

I have joked that I am going to have to find an all-girls preschool for Bean to attend because I am not sure if she can focus on the teacher if she connects with a little boy in class. I was told that there is such a place here in Charlottesville, but I honestly don't think that we need to go to that extreme. At least I hope we don't.

One of her bestest buds, and the one she has known the longest, is an "older" man, he's 3, and she gets so excited when we get together with him. They play together really well. There is another little boy in our playgroup who Jilly adores as well. They get each other giggling and act so silly together that it borders on cute and annoying.

On Tuesday we got together with Matty and another little boy (who's even older at 4) to play at the park. It was funny to see the boys go between not wanting anything to do with Jilly to almost fighting over who got to play with her. In the end, though, they all got along together really well and had a fabulous time.