The Reason

Although Thanksgiving is over, our little lesson for Jilly that we need to be thankful for what we have continues. It is especially important now that the hoopla that surrounds Christmas is here. Make no mistake, I want her to anticipate the gifts she will receive from family and Santa, but finding the right balance between giving and receiving, and understanding why we celebrate Christmas is key.

Today we joined some ladies from our MOPS group at the Hope Community Center to sort through donated items that will go to families in need. On Saturday, area families will get the chance to "shop" for clothes, toys and household items. Jilly spent most of the time playing with some other children who were there, but I kept telling here that we were getting things together for families who need a little help.

Afterward we came home to finish decorating. One of the items that I saved specifically for JillyBean to help with was setting out our manger set. It was a good time to talk again about Mary, Joseph, the Wise Men, and, of course, baby Jesus. She clearly knows that Christmas is Jesus' birthday and that one way we celebrate is by giving gifts to others.

Thankful

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and Jilly seems to be realizing that there is something between Halloween and Christmas. Our little ritual of writing down something each morning that she is thankful for is beginning to sink into her teeny little head.

We will be spending the afternoon with close friends. I have been asked to bring nothing, but that goes against the whole point of Thanksgiving. We did contribute the turkey, although we're not cooking it - just used our grocery store points for a free one. However, I am making my "famous" pecan pie. I am making it because no one in our house likes pecan pie and if I want to eat it, I have to make it for someone else.

I will turn on the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in the morning and hope that Jilly takes a minute to watch, but if not, that's OK. I always enjoyed watching it with my dad when I was a kid.

We wish all of you a very Happy Thanksgiving and hope that you take a few minutes to realize the many blessings in your life and not dwell on the challenges.

today Jilly is thankful for the candy Christmas trees we made together last night

Season of Peace

I am so excited to host Christmas at our house this year. It is something I have been wanting to do for a very long time and now, with a child, it's easier to accomplish. We get to stay put every three years and that makes me happy. Of course all of our family is welcome to come and celebrate with us. I would love nothing more than to have a house full of people to open gifts, enjoy company and celebrate our Lord's birth. Only my mom and uncle will be here. My brother and his wife had planned to come, but sister-in-law started a new job and can't take off any time to justify the criminal airfare to get here for a short time. Beanie Daddy's family has decided to stay put in Tennessee. But that's OK. We have good friends who will join us for Christmas dinner and it is going to a joyous occasion.

Looking ahead I am amazed at how our calendar is already slammed. My plan is to make this a peaceful month and a time where we can really enjoy the build up to Christmas. We are going to be busy, but we aren't going to be rushed. I want this to be a time where we can teach Jilly the anticipation of Santa, the fulfillment of giving to others, and the joy of God's gift to us. Since she is older and is building memories, I want to begin establishing traditions - little things that she will treasure and hopefully pass along when she has a family of her own.

I have enjoyed reading Simple Mom's 12 Weeks to a Peaceful Christmas. It has given tips on how to make this an enjoyable time and not one where we're so busy worrying about making the house look.just.right.

Some of the highlights for the upcoming Christmas season include:

• Lighting of the Lawn - an annual event that began in 2001 in the wake of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. The event was intended to gather the community together as a way to appreciate all they had.
• Radio City Christmas Spectacular featuring the Rockettes - I wanted to be a Rockette when I was a kid. I am so excited that this show is coming to the John Paul Jones Arena and JillyBean and I are attending. I hope to make this the first of an annual holiday "date" she and I have together.
• Hope Community Chest - This is a event coordinated by the Hope Community Center that allows families in need to receive clothes and toys. Jilly and I are volunteering with our MOPS group to receive and sort donations as well as assist on the day that families "shop."
• Toy Lift - a local event that collects toys for children in need

Mixed in with these festivities is a slate of activities planned for home. We have a home to decorate, cookies to bake, crafts to make, and holiday movies to watch. In order to make this as enjoyable and memorable as possible we are going to simply take on the Christmas season one day at a time.

Jilly is thankful for:
gifts she receives in the mail
friends
Smoky and Snoopy (her imaginary friends)
Thomas the Train

The Gift of Giving

We decided to participate in Operation Christmas Child this year through our church. The program is part of Samaritan's Purse and delivers shoe boxes filled with gifts to children around the world.

The program allows you to pick if you want to get gifts for a boy or girl and the age range. I had originally wanted Jilly to help pick out gifts for a girl aged 2-4, but she was adamant that we shop for a boy. We filled our box with Matchbox cars; a small tin of checkers that look like the characters from the movie Cars; a Thomas activity book; puzzles; Sesame Street stickers; a UVA t-shirt; a stuffed frog; and some candy. It was a fun outing with Jilly this afternoon, picking out the toys for our little boy. We made it a trip where we did not buy anything for us so that Jilly could focus on getting something for someone else.

This week is National Collection Week where all of the shoe boxes are delivered to a local collection site. Tonight JillyBean and I volunteered at the collection site. She thought we were going to take our box to the little boy, but was excited to get the chance to help prepare the boxes. When shoe boxes were dropped off, it was our job to make sure they were tagged properly and had a rubber band around the box. Then we placed the boxes in large cardboard boxes to prepare for delivery. Jilly handed the shoe boxes to me to place in the large boxes. She had a good time.

I am sure that she does not completely understand the meaning behind our task, but she did get that we were sending Christmas presents to a little boy who lives very far away from us. Right now we are developing a foundation for helping others.

today Jilly is thankful for pasta

Between Friends

Today is a day when I am especially thankful that JillyBean has a vivid imagination. She was resistant to taking her hourly potty breaks most of the day but I was able to coax her into it by saying that one of her toy friends wanted her to show them how to go potty. First up was Mr. Cow. Jilly was engrossed playing with her farm animals this morning and didn't want to take a break. I told her that Mr. Cow had heard that she was a big girl now and wanted her to show him. She agreed happily and was so proud to explain to Mr. Cow the steps. Jilly also gave tutorials to her frog Lilly, Elmo and Farmer Ted.

All of this goes back to the promise I made to myself that I was not going to allow this process to cause stress or frustration. Harvey Karp wrote in The Happiest Toddler on the Block that you should instill a sense of pride in your toddler and one way is to brag on them, even if it's to an imaginary friend. Making them proud of positive behavior is a more effective way of enforcing that behavior than rewards. I have seen this work on Jilly in many situations. If she has a great day at the grocery store, the first thing I do when we get in the car is tell one of her stuffed animals that is also in the car. She beams with pride. I actually think that it means more to her that I brag on her achievements to Lilly or Happy Bear or Air Bud (her imaginary friend) then when I call Daddy or Grandma. So the opportunity for her to "teach" one of her buddies about going to potty really makes her feel like a pro, boosting her confidence and her willingness to cooperate.

today Jilly is thankful for Grandma, Uncle Jimmy and Uncle Sean

Woo Hoo For Number 2

Today was a good day at Potty Training Camp. JillyBean actually poopied in the potty this morning. It was quite an accomplishment. She was extremely proud, but even happier to finally get a lollipop for a reward.

We ventured out for a play date and she had an accident shortly after we arrived. This is where things can get frustrating, but I refuse to let this be a stressful process. She went to the potty and not five minutes later I realized that she pooed in her pants. Thankfully it wasn't bad (and I'm sorry for too much information), but still it shows how potty training can wear on a parent. She had just been to the potty. Why couldn't she have told me she needed to go again? This is where I need to remember that I am an adult and she is a child.

Sometimes I wonder if we expect too much from two-year-olds. They have been in this world for a very short two years, yet it seems like we expect they develop manners and a level of understanding and compassion that many adults don't display. I don't remember being out in public around strangers as much when I was a child as kids are today. We certainly didn't eat in restaurants as often as we do now. Preschool was not a concept that was considered until age four - there was nursery school, but no preschool.

So much is going on in their tiny little brains right now. On one side there is this great need to become independent but on the other side they have a need to be babied. I mentioned in my last post that my attitude toward potty training this time around has changed making the process a little bit easier. That attitude has also spilled over into the rest of our daily interactions and I have noticed fewer outbursts and tantrums (from both of us). I feel as if I am a bit more relaxed as a parent now; not relaxed in that I've given up and I'm giving in, but relaxed in a way that allows me to enjoy parenthood more. I have learned to take deep breaths and pray for strength when I feel frustrated and that calmness seems to wash over Jilly. After all, she is not the only one who has had two short years to figure out life. I entered uncharted waters only two years ago as well.

today Jilly is thankful for Ma

By George

One of JillyBean's greatest loves is Curious George. She adores the little monkey and we read his stories every day. We have been reading George stories every day for a year. Yes, I get a bit bored with the same thing day after day after day, but it brings so much joy to Jilly.

George came to the local Barnes & Noble last month and Jilly was so excited to get the chance to see him. However, once confronted with a life-size George, she sort of shied away. She even followed him through the store but would not get more than five feet from him. She wasn't exactly scared, more like overcome with the idea of meeting someone who has become a best friend through the pages of a book. Talking to her, though, you would think that they sat down together and had tea. She still beams, nearly a month later, when she talks about seeing George at the bookstore. Every time we go to the store she says: "this is where I saw George."

One of the gifts JillyBean is receiving for Christmas is a Curious George book and CD gift set. I never thought of an audiobook as a good gift idea for a child, but it's actually pretty ingenious. Nana sent Jilly audio versions of Little Bear and Mouse Tales after she broke her arm. They have been wonderful alternatives to flipping on the TV or even music on many occasions. She enjoys listening to the stories while playing in her "toy room" or coloring. We haven't taken them with us in the car because, well, listening to audiobooks makes me sleepy and that's not a good thing when I'm driving.

I am so thankful that Jilly has developed a zest for books. She loves to read and actually told me to sit down on her floor while she sat in the rocking chair and read a book to me. The obvious benefit to a love of books is for the development of her language and reading skills. But for me, daily reading of stories has helped to develop her imagination, something that cannot be taught in school.

In other news, today was an OK day in regard to potty training. She had one accident and fussed a bit when she had potty breaks in the afternoon. Today was more of a struggle, but we got through it. This is the biggest change over the last time we attempted to potty train - my attitude. Previously I would get frustrated when she would "fight" me to go potty but now I make it into a game. I laugh at her antics but am still insistent. Then when she actually produces, I make an even bigger deal out her accomplishment. This has caused less stress for both of us and I think it's the key to our success.

today Jilly is thankful for her dog Sandy

Give Thanks

I am so thankful that the potty training is going pretty smoothly so far. Today was Day 3 and Jilly had no accidents. We made a quick outing and she came home dry and she used the potty on cue every 45 minutes. She even woke up from her nap dry and just called out to us from bed, upset that she had wet her Pull Up.

Since we were home almost all day, JillyBean and I dove into a little craft project for Thanksgiving. Like most kids, Jilly found Halloween exciting and is already anticipating Christmas. I want to make sure that Thanksgiving doesn't get overlooked.

Thanks to my wonderful MOPS group, I came across a project for a Thanksgiving advent-style calendar. We made ours with 15 pockets, since I couldn't get more than five on a row, and we are counting down. We included the scripture from 1 Thessalonians 5:18, "give thanks in all circumstances..." at the top.

Jilly placed all of the pumpkins and leaves on the calendar pockets. It was a fun little project and it gave me a chance to talk to JillyBean about how blessed she is and how important it is for us to thank people and to thank God (through our prayers) for all of those blessings. She doesn't quite get "thankful" so I explained it as things that make us happy.

After the calendar was complete, Jilly had to tell me five things that make her happy (we had to do five to make up the days we have missed). So far Jilly is thankful for:

1. Granddad
2. Santa Claus
3. Mommy
4. Daddy
5. Nanny (Nana)

We will place a note in each pocket leading up to Thanksgiving then we will read them all that day as a reminder of all the blessings we have in our lives.

This is an important exercise this time of year and one that I want to make a tradition for our family, especially leading to Christmas. Too often we are busy trying to fulfill Christmas gift lists that we forget to say thank you for the amazing things that we encounter every day.

Day Two

JillyBean did great today, her second full day to Potty Training Boot Camp. She had a little accident this morning, but it wasn't much. We went to church and since she hadn't done anything but tinkle yesterday, I didn't want her Sunday school teachers to have to deal with dirty training pants so she went in Pull Ups. And just as I thought, she pooed not five minutes after I dropped her off in her class. Her teachers said that she did use the potty, as well, but this other business is going to take a little more work.

After church Jilly and I had to run an errand. We went to he bookstore and she went to the potty there. It took us about an hour to finish up what we needed to do and drive home and I was surprised to find that she was still dry. We went back to the 45-minute rule and she did great. She even told me she needed to potty after I had put her down for a nap and woke up from her nap dry.

I am going to call her doctor tomorrow to talk to her about how we are handling this. The results are positive, but I am finding that JillyBean just goes a little every time. I feel blessed that she doesn't have to sit on the potty for extended periods of time without producing, but I fear that she is holding back a bit. Maybe I have no cause for concern, but it would be nice to get a little guidance. I also want to learn how we get beyond the timer reminders. I know that we're only on Day 2, but I want to make sure that we are headed in the right direction.

Potty Boot Camp

It was a year ago when I posted that we were going to begin potty training. We started off great, but got a little sidetracked then lost all momentum. We're starting over again and this time there is no turning back.

At the time I wrote that I believed the parent must be just as ready, if not more so, than the child. Jilly had clearly expressed a desire and interest to use the big-girl potty at the time, and I thought that we could tackle it, but I was not mentally prepared for the challenge. I am now.

This time around I am taking a cue from a friend who simply told her daughter that they were out of diapers and couldn't buy more. That day came yesterday for us. When Jilly got up from her nap I told her that was it with diapers and that it was time for us to move forward. She was pretty accepting, especially since she finally got the chance to wear her new big-girl Elmo underwear.

Even though we have cloth training pants, I am not using them at home. Instead we are using actual underwear because they aren't as absorbent. I don't think she felt too uncomfortable in the training pants the past few times we've used them and this way there is no mistaking that she is wet.

Last night I set the timer for every half hour and when it went off Jilly and I would take a little trip to the potty. Using a timer works much easier than simply telling her she needs to sit down on the potty. She produced each time we went to the potty, even if it was a little. This morning she told me she needed to potty, and went, three times. Those three times, though, were within five minutes of each other. We upped the potty breaks from 30 minutes to 45 and even did great with a short outing to the grocery store and quick lunch. However, shortly after we got home she had an "accident." She had two more within a half hour. I think that it was because she was outside playing and was a little too preoccupied to think about much else. After that, though, all went well.

We put her to bed, at nap time and at night, in pull-ups, but that's the only time she wears them. When we're out during this "training" period she will wear the cloth training pants only because it wont be quite as messy if she has an accident. Those outings will be few this coming week. I have all kinds of new puzzles, craft projects and a couple of new movies to keep us occupied. I know that I need to stay strong and dedicated to this process.

Jilly has to be out of diapers by Christmas. HAS TO BE. For one, she wants her own lip gloss and I told her that only big girls get their own and big girls don't wear diapers. Santa will bring some to her if he finds out that she is no longer wearing diapers. Also, if she's not potty trained by the end of the year then we're too close to her third birthday and I REALLY don't want a three-year-old in diapers. There are too many activities that I want her to get involved with by the time she's three and she can't if she isn't potty trained. Plus, I'm tired of buying diapers.

My posts this next week will be focused on our journey. I hope that I will have positive reports, though I am sure that it won't be easy.

Discovery Toys

A lot of blogs that I read have sponsors who give deals to readers of the blog. Well, I have no sponsor but I am involved in something that can benefit any readers out there.

I recently became an Educational Consultant for Discovery Toys. Discovery Toys is a great line of fun and educational toys. The toys are of very high quality and priced very competitively, if not less than what you find in the retail stores.

Since Christmas is around the corner and most people are beginning to make their gift-giving list, I am willing to give either 10 percent off your purchase or free shipping for an order of more than $50.

JillyBean has loved all of the toys she has played with from Discovery Toys. Here are her favorites:
Motor Works: This allows children to take three vehicles apart and put them back together. It comes with a battery-operated drill and a manual screwdriver. Jilly played with this at her friend's house and neither child could get enough of it. It is geared toward older children to operate on their own, but younger children still have fun with grown-up guidance.

Zingo: This is a twist on traditional Bingo. Each player gets a card with 12 pictures on it and must match all the tiles to get Zingo. The game is advertised for children ages 4 and older, but at two-and-a-half years old, JillyBean is already a pro. We play this quite a bit as a family and she has now requested taking it with us to the local coffee shop to play. I am considering getting a second game to keep in the car so that we will have it on hand when we go out to eat and need a little distraction to keep everyone happy while waiting for food to arrive.

Busy Bugs: This game uses different colored bugs to teach matching, sequencing, and early math. The first time I gave this to Jilly, she played with it for nearly an hour. In addition to playing it as a game, the bugs are fun to play with alone. If you're squeamish of bugs, Discovery Toys is offering this game with farm animals that is similar but focuses on letters instead of numbers.
Once Upon A Time: This cute little book allows the reader the opportunity to change up the story each time they read it allowing them to build their imagination. The book also comes in a version suitable for boys called Ahoy, Pirate Pete.

In addition to purchasing individual toys, Discovery Toys has created bundled toys for the holidays for $99. These bundles are great if you want to save money on several toys or if you have several children on your list. They're also great if you know that you are going to attend a few baby showers in the near future or if your child is in preschool and will be attending a lot of birthday parties. The Family Games bundle is great for older kids or to add to your family game night collection. I cannot offer a price break on these packages since they are already discounted, but will be happy to give you free shipping.

Please leave a message here to take advantage of my promotion.

Dinner Bell

A friend of a friend recently started a new blog that I am following. Bringing Dinner Back chronicles one family's goal to eat at least one meal together every day for 53 weeks. Their journey interests me because eating as a family is extremely important to me.

As a kid we almost always had dinner together; even during the years that I played softball and the week was filled with either practice or games. And both of my parents worked outside the home. My memories of the ritual are not all happy. In fact, I tend to remember shedding a lot of tears because my father would torture me by making me eat peas, lima beans, or some other nasty stuff. As an aside, I will not put a pea anywhere near mouth today, yet my child cannot get enough of them. Still, looking back, family dinner was important because no matter how many battles I lost in regard to the food I ate, it was a time that we were all together and could talk without distractions.

According to my husband, his mother read an article recently about parents who believe that children should "earn" their way to the family dinner table. The information from the article comes to me third hand, so I may be taking it out of its original context, but essentially the story said that some families make their children eat separate from the rest of the family until they learn the proper way to sit and act at the table. This idea appalls me. Since I view the dinner table as an extension of the family, I do not believe that anyone should have to earn their place in that family. Plus, how can a child learn the proper way to act at the table unless that child sees it modeled for them? I understand that some families have crazy schedules and it simply does not work to hold dinner, but no one should be cast aside.

The ritual is not always easy with a toddler. I am lucky that Jilly is a pretty good eater. I do not make it a habit to make a separate meal for her, though I usually include at least one thing that I know she will eat (I'm usually safe with peas and green beans). I admit that there are nights when she has gone to bed without eating dinner. I am OK with that because I do not believe that children will allow themselves to starve and that they go through phases when they simply aren't hungry at dinner time. However, I do break the rule and prepare something different for her when I'm in the mood for a dish I know she won't eat - like spicy shrimp creole.

Each Friday I compose a weekly menu, which is when I do my weekly grocery shopping trip. I make a list each week of what is needed for each meal along with staples (milk, bread, cereal, etc.) and buy only what is on the list, unless there is some super special (the store where I shop often has buy-one-get-one-free deals on meat so I'll buy even if it's not on the list so I can build it into a future menu). This can be a pretty daunting task over time. I tend to get bored with certain dishes but they're easy and I know everyone will eat them. It is also very hard to be the main person who sets the dinner agenda every single day of the week, every week of the month, every month of the year. But by doing this, we are able to wrangle our grocery budget and I'm not staring at the inside of the refrigerator at 5 p.m. each night trying to figure out what to make. The list is on the refrigerator door so even BeanieDaddy knows what to expect each night. It also keeps our household budget under control with fewer dinners/lunches out since BeanieDad doesn't mind taking leftovers to work. I buy fresh and usually organic vegetables, and we don't do prepared foods. Therefore, coupon clipping doesn't help much with the bottom line. Still, I get away with spending between $70 and $90 each week and that includes at least one meal with fresh fish.

My hope is that not only will Jilly be exposed to all kinds of food and develop a diverse palate but that dinner time is when we can connect as a family. I know that sitting down together each night may become more difficult as Jilly gets older and has her own social calendar, but hopefully putting this practice into place now will make it easier.

Leaf Man

JillyBean has been obsessed with leaves ever since the fall colors began to appear last month. We cannot go outside without her picking up at least one leaf just to hand it off to me to save. "Oooh, mama," she says. "This is a good one." Needless to say, we have quite a collection of yellow, orange and red leaves of all shapes. And I can't bring myself to throw them away. Finally last week I got an idea - let's make a leaf man.

I was inspired by two things: the beautifully illustrated book, Leaf Man, by Lois Ehlert; and our first week's art class where Jilly used glue water as a homemade decoupage.

This morning Jilly and I took a little stroll through the woods near our house to add to our collection and also to find a few other odds and ends to complete our leaf man. I know, it seems strange that we would gather more leaves, but in order to make a proper leaf man you must have a vast selection of leaves.

I made the glue water using one part water and about one-and-a-half parts glue (you need a little more glue for the leaves than you would if you were doing a project with paper). Then we pulled out the construction paper and went to work. First we picked out which leaves would represent which body part, arranged them on the paper, then dipped our paint brushes in the glue water and smeared it all over the leaves and paper to stick. We used acorn shells for the eyes and simply glued them on to the face.


I'm very proud of the way these guys turned out as is Jilly. She simply beamed as she admired the final creation. She finally has a permanent home for her beloved leaves.