Helpless

A week ago I was riding in the front of an ambulance while my husband tried to console our crying child in the back. I have never felt so helpless in my life.

While on vacation at Bald Head Island, JillyBean fell off of a bench and broke her arm. My first thought was thankfully it was only an arm. But then when I heard her scream, I felt numb. My baby was in pain and there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn't even console her or hug her since Beanie Daddy had her in his arms and a transfer was not possible.

The whole scene seemed much more dramatic at the time than it does today. We were on an island, didn't have access to our car and needed to get to the mainland via ferry to get help for her. She was calm once we got to the hospital, which totally amazed me. She was especially excited to have a picture taken of her bones. What a champ. All the time I tried to calm the butterflies inside my stomach. The worse part was having to hold her down while the nurses put an IV in her arm.

As for the break, it's about as good as it can get if you're going to break your arm. She will be back to her old self in a few weeks, though you cannot tell that much has changed.

Looking back, though at the image of my baby lying in a hospital ER bed and hooked up to monitors is still upsetting. I am extremely thankful that we were there for a seemingly minor incident but can't help think of the countless moms and dads whose children have to deal with major illness or who experience a major injury. All my child was hooked up to was a blood pressure machine. She didn't have tubes to feed her, help her breathe or to relieve pain. How can these parents endure such a scene much less live with the knowledge that they basically live in a hospital?

This whole incident has prompted me to get involved with our local Ronald McDonald House. I believe that it is a wonderful resource for parents who are having to care for terminally ill children.

It is my desire to teach Jilly that is important to share the many blessings that have been given to her by God. It is the greatest lesson my mother taught, and still teaches, me and one that I want to see continue with my daughter. I believe that as she grows older, helping the families of sick children is something that she will easily understand. We are trying to get it in her head that she is a very lucky girl but not every child has what she has. She is still young and can't understand, but I believe that it is never too early to share the message.

Good Bye Summer

It is crazy to me that summer is already coming to an end. Each summer seems to get shorter and shorter as I get older, so I hope that the warm lazy days seem to linger a bit more for JillyBean. These were always my favorite days as a kid - getting to stay out late, run through the neighborhood with friends, swim - and I want Jilly to have the same experience.

We made our last batch of fruit pops last week, and wouldn't you know it they were the best. The peaches seemed much sweeter than those we used the last go around and I have decided that fresh peach pops are a little more refreshing and tastier than strawberry, even though I like to eat strawberries more on their own. The fruit pops will soon be replaced with homemade applesauce, baked cinnamon apples, pumpkin bread and hot cocoa. Not bad replacements, but certainly not as fun to eat as frozen pops or fudgesicles.

Our summer is not officially over. We still have our summer vacation approaching, although the calendar will say that it is fall. We are heading to Bald Head Island in a week and are holding out hope that the warm weather sticks around a bit longer for a few nice afternoons on the beach. But once we return our focus will be on getting ready for Halloween, then Thanksgiving and then Christmas is upon us. It's hard to believe that the year coming to an end.