Yes, We are Still Here

So my big plan to document the Christmas season fell by the wayside thanks to everyday life. Then, like in the past, I got to a point where I hadn't posted in so long that it got harder and harder to make myself get back in here.

This post is simply a photo recap of Christmas, which took place exactly a month ago today.

Jilly and I saw the Rockettes at the John Paul Jones Arena. It is a show that I have been wanting to see since I was a teenager. I have always loved the Rockettes and their Christmas show did not disappoint me. Jilly enjoyed it, as well. She sat in her seat and was excited by all of the spectacular dancing, music, costumes and decor. It was an event that I hope we can continue as a holiday tradition.

One of the holiday craft projects JillyBean and I did this year was to make these cute Christmas trees using styrofoam cones and candy. This one was made of gumdrops and we did another using mini candy canes and one with round peppermint candy. We placed the trees throughout the house.
And, of course, we had our regular Christmas tree, times three. The tree we placed in our living room (the "official" tree) ended up being filled with some older ornaments that mom gave me last year. These were glass ornaments that we used on our trees as a kid. I tied silver, red, green and gold bows on them to spice them up a bit. Also on the tree were the brass ornaments that BeanieDad received each year as a child. It was fun looking at the years that were engraved on each one. Then we included all of the special ornaments that Jilly has received. This year her Auntie Pam in New Mexico started a 12 Days of Christmas ornament collection for her. It will be wonderful to add a new one to the tree the next 11 years. By the time these "family" ornaments had been added, I was left was a crate full of ornaments that needed a home. Most were Santas. Not being able to stand the thought of an unused ornament, I decided to get another tree and place it in the dining room. I am happy with my decision. And finally, I bought a pre-lit, 2-foot tall pink tree to put on Jilly's night stand. We decorated it with silver glittery bulbs and tied sparkly green ribbon to them. It was super cute. I actually haven't taken it down. Right now it's covered with Valentine hearts and next we'll put Easter eggs and bunnies on it for spring.
We traveled to Tennessee the week before Christmas and got to see Nana, Auntie April, Ma, Granddad, PawPaw, Sweetie and a lot of other family. While we were gone, a major snow storm hit home. While we missed the loveliness of watching the snow fall, there was plenty left for Jilly to enjoy.
Jilly tromped through the massive piles of snow, made snow angels and a snow man. It was fun and perfect for our first Christmas at home.
Grandma and Uncle Jimmy came for Christmas. On Christmas Eve Jimmy dressed up like Ol' Saint Nick and he and Jilly delivered cookies to our neighbors. The kids were a bit surprised to see Santa so early.
Christmas morning was a whirlwind. Santa brought Jilly a baby stroller, a baby high chair and a horse barn with horses. In addition, she got an Olivia doll, Olivia DVD, and lip gloss since she is no longer wearing diapers and doing a great job going potty by herself.
One of Jilly's favorite gifts was an Elmo plane given to her by Uncle Sean and Aunt Casie. She actually got three toy planes. Maybe she'll take after her grandpa and be a pilot some day.
Naturally, no major event would be complete in the Beanie household without Jilly's bestest bud and his family who came over for Christmas dinner. We set up a kids' table in the kitchen while the adults enjoyed ham, butternut squash, corn pudding, broccoli, and a bunch more good stuff in the dining room.

It was great being able wake up in our own home on Christmas morning and have Jilly walk down the stairs to see all of her gifts. And now we're just trying to get back to normal but have a third birthday to look forward to soon. Yes, planning has already begun...

Season of Peace

I am so excited to host Christmas at our house this year. It is something I have been wanting to do for a very long time and now, with a child, it's easier to accomplish. We get to stay put every three years and that makes me happy. Of course all of our family is welcome to come and celebrate with us. I would love nothing more than to have a house full of people to open gifts, enjoy company and celebrate our Lord's birth. Only my mom and uncle will be here. My brother and his wife had planned to come, but sister-in-law started a new job and can't take off any time to justify the criminal airfare to get here for a short time. Beanie Daddy's family has decided to stay put in Tennessee. But that's OK. We have good friends who will join us for Christmas dinner and it is going to a joyous occasion.

Looking ahead I am amazed at how our calendar is already slammed. My plan is to make this a peaceful month and a time where we can really enjoy the build up to Christmas. We are going to be busy, but we aren't going to be rushed. I want this to be a time where we can teach Jilly the anticipation of Santa, the fulfillment of giving to others, and the joy of God's gift to us. Since she is older and is building memories, I want to begin establishing traditions - little things that she will treasure and hopefully pass along when she has a family of her own.

I have enjoyed reading Simple Mom's 12 Weeks to a Peaceful Christmas. It has given tips on how to make this an enjoyable time and not one where we're so busy worrying about making the house look.just.right.

Some of the highlights for the upcoming Christmas season include:

• Lighting of the Lawn - an annual event that began in 2001 in the wake of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. The event was intended to gather the community together as a way to appreciate all they had.
• Radio City Christmas Spectacular featuring the Rockettes - I wanted to be a Rockette when I was a kid. I am so excited that this show is coming to the John Paul Jones Arena and JillyBean and I are attending. I hope to make this the first of an annual holiday "date" she and I have together.
• Hope Community Chest - This is a event coordinated by the Hope Community Center that allows families in need to receive clothes and toys. Jilly and I are volunteering with our MOPS group to receive and sort donations as well as assist on the day that families "shop."
• Toy Lift - a local event that collects toys for children in need

Mixed in with these festivities is a slate of activities planned for home. We have a home to decorate, cookies to bake, crafts to make, and holiday movies to watch. In order to make this as enjoyable and memorable as possible we are going to simply take on the Christmas season one day at a time.

Jilly is thankful for:
gifts she receives in the mail
friends
Smoky and Snoopy (her imaginary friends)
Thomas the Train

Woo Hoo For Number 2

Today was a good day at Potty Training Camp. JillyBean actually poopied in the potty this morning. It was quite an accomplishment. She was extremely proud, but even happier to finally get a lollipop for a reward.

We ventured out for a play date and she had an accident shortly after we arrived. This is where things can get frustrating, but I refuse to let this be a stressful process. She went to the potty and not five minutes later I realized that she pooed in her pants. Thankfully it wasn't bad (and I'm sorry for too much information), but still it shows how potty training can wear on a parent. She had just been to the potty. Why couldn't she have told me she needed to go again? This is where I need to remember that I am an adult and she is a child.

Sometimes I wonder if we expect too much from two-year-olds. They have been in this world for a very short two years, yet it seems like we expect they develop manners and a level of understanding and compassion that many adults don't display. I don't remember being out in public around strangers as much when I was a child as kids are today. We certainly didn't eat in restaurants as often as we do now. Preschool was not a concept that was considered until age four - there was nursery school, but no preschool.

So much is going on in their tiny little brains right now. On one side there is this great need to become independent but on the other side they have a need to be babied. I mentioned in my last post that my attitude toward potty training this time around has changed making the process a little bit easier. That attitude has also spilled over into the rest of our daily interactions and I have noticed fewer outbursts and tantrums (from both of us). I feel as if I am a bit more relaxed as a parent now; not relaxed in that I've given up and I'm giving in, but relaxed in a way that allows me to enjoy parenthood more. I have learned to take deep breaths and pray for strength when I feel frustrated and that calmness seems to wash over Jilly. After all, she is not the only one who has had two short years to figure out life. I entered uncharted waters only two years ago as well.

today Jilly is thankful for Ma

Dinner Bell

A friend of a friend recently started a new blog that I am following. Bringing Dinner Back chronicles one family's goal to eat at least one meal together every day for 53 weeks. Their journey interests me because eating as a family is extremely important to me.

As a kid we almost always had dinner together; even during the years that I played softball and the week was filled with either practice or games. And both of my parents worked outside the home. My memories of the ritual are not all happy. In fact, I tend to remember shedding a lot of tears because my father would torture me by making me eat peas, lima beans, or some other nasty stuff. As an aside, I will not put a pea anywhere near mouth today, yet my child cannot get enough of them. Still, looking back, family dinner was important because no matter how many battles I lost in regard to the food I ate, it was a time that we were all together and could talk without distractions.

According to my husband, his mother read an article recently about parents who believe that children should "earn" their way to the family dinner table. The information from the article comes to me third hand, so I may be taking it out of its original context, but essentially the story said that some families make their children eat separate from the rest of the family until they learn the proper way to sit and act at the table. This idea appalls me. Since I view the dinner table as an extension of the family, I do not believe that anyone should have to earn their place in that family. Plus, how can a child learn the proper way to act at the table unless that child sees it modeled for them? I understand that some families have crazy schedules and it simply does not work to hold dinner, but no one should be cast aside.

The ritual is not always easy with a toddler. I am lucky that Jilly is a pretty good eater. I do not make it a habit to make a separate meal for her, though I usually include at least one thing that I know she will eat (I'm usually safe with peas and green beans). I admit that there are nights when she has gone to bed without eating dinner. I am OK with that because I do not believe that children will allow themselves to starve and that they go through phases when they simply aren't hungry at dinner time. However, I do break the rule and prepare something different for her when I'm in the mood for a dish I know she won't eat - like spicy shrimp creole.

Each Friday I compose a weekly menu, which is when I do my weekly grocery shopping trip. I make a list each week of what is needed for each meal along with staples (milk, bread, cereal, etc.) and buy only what is on the list, unless there is some super special (the store where I shop often has buy-one-get-one-free deals on meat so I'll buy even if it's not on the list so I can build it into a future menu). This can be a pretty daunting task over time. I tend to get bored with certain dishes but they're easy and I know everyone will eat them. It is also very hard to be the main person who sets the dinner agenda every single day of the week, every week of the month, every month of the year. But by doing this, we are able to wrangle our grocery budget and I'm not staring at the inside of the refrigerator at 5 p.m. each night trying to figure out what to make. The list is on the refrigerator door so even BeanieDaddy knows what to expect each night. It also keeps our household budget under control with fewer dinners/lunches out since BeanieDad doesn't mind taking leftovers to work. I buy fresh and usually organic vegetables, and we don't do prepared foods. Therefore, coupon clipping doesn't help much with the bottom line. Still, I get away with spending between $70 and $90 each week and that includes at least one meal with fresh fish.

My hope is that not only will Jilly be exposed to all kinds of food and develop a diverse palate but that dinner time is when we can connect as a family. I know that sitting down together each night may become more difficult as Jilly gets older and has her own social calendar, but hopefully putting this practice into place now will make it easier.

The 'hood

One of the reasons for my absence this summer is that we moved to a new house in the middle of June. As anyone who has moved knows, it takes a little time to get settled and then you still feel as if you're playing catch-up with the rest of your life. The house is nice and we love it, but it is made close to perfect thanks to the neighborhood. Not many homes comprise this place, but pretty much everyone who lives here has children - infants to middle-schoolers (not sure if there are many high school-aged kids yet). And while there are plenty of family neighborhoods, this one reminds me of mine when I was a kid because the kids - hold on here - actually play outside. Shocking, I know, in this day and age. On Friday night I heard kids running around outside until at least 11 p.m. It's great.

On Saturday night our across-the-street neighbors opened up their backyard to the kids for movie night. It was awesome. They had a huge blow-up screen and played The Wizard of Oz (a movie that I despise, but oh well). Kids came over when it got dark and sat on their blankets on the lawn. They munched on popcorn and other snacks and had a great time. It was just as much fun for the parents, even if we didn't watch the movie.

This is the type of experience that I want for JillyBean as she grows up because it's what I had. I want her around neighbors who she will form strong bonds with as they grow older. I want her to have long-lasting relationships with childhood friends and share stories of running through the neighborhood on bikes, play at each others' homes and spending the night together. I know that she will have friends who live in other parts of town, at church and in school, but having those daily play partners are important.

Helpless

A week ago I was riding in the front of an ambulance while my husband tried to console our crying child in the back. I have never felt so helpless in my life.

While on vacation at Bald Head Island, JillyBean fell off of a bench and broke her arm. My first thought was thankfully it was only an arm. But then when I heard her scream, I felt numb. My baby was in pain and there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn't even console her or hug her since Beanie Daddy had her in his arms and a transfer was not possible.

The whole scene seemed much more dramatic at the time than it does today. We were on an island, didn't have access to our car and needed to get to the mainland via ferry to get help for her. She was calm once we got to the hospital, which totally amazed me. She was especially excited to have a picture taken of her bones. What a champ. All the time I tried to calm the butterflies inside my stomach. The worse part was having to hold her down while the nurses put an IV in her arm.

As for the break, it's about as good as it can get if you're going to break your arm. She will be back to her old self in a few weeks, though you cannot tell that much has changed.

Looking back, though at the image of my baby lying in a hospital ER bed and hooked up to monitors is still upsetting. I am extremely thankful that we were there for a seemingly minor incident but can't help think of the countless moms and dads whose children have to deal with major illness or who experience a major injury. All my child was hooked up to was a blood pressure machine. She didn't have tubes to feed her, help her breathe or to relieve pain. How can these parents endure such a scene much less live with the knowledge that they basically live in a hospital?

This whole incident has prompted me to get involved with our local Ronald McDonald House. I believe that it is a wonderful resource for parents who are having to care for terminally ill children.

It is my desire to teach Jilly that is important to share the many blessings that have been given to her by God. It is the greatest lesson my mother taught, and still teaches, me and one that I want to see continue with my daughter. I believe that as she grows older, helping the families of sick children is something that she will easily understand. We are trying to get it in her head that she is a very lucky girl but not every child has what she has. She is still young and can't understand, but I believe that it is never too early to share the message.

Good Bye Summer

It is crazy to me that summer is already coming to an end. Each summer seems to get shorter and shorter as I get older, so I hope that the warm lazy days seem to linger a bit more for JillyBean. These were always my favorite days as a kid - getting to stay out late, run through the neighborhood with friends, swim - and I want Jilly to have the same experience.

We made our last batch of fruit pops last week, and wouldn't you know it they were the best. The peaches seemed much sweeter than those we used the last go around and I have decided that fresh peach pops are a little more refreshing and tastier than strawberry, even though I like to eat strawberries more on their own. The fruit pops will soon be replaced with homemade applesauce, baked cinnamon apples, pumpkin bread and hot cocoa. Not bad replacements, but certainly not as fun to eat as frozen pops or fudgesicles.

Our summer is not officially over. We still have our summer vacation approaching, although the calendar will say that it is fall. We are heading to Bald Head Island in a week and are holding out hope that the warm weather sticks around a bit longer for a few nice afternoons on the beach. But once we return our focus will be on getting ready for Halloween, then Thanksgiving and then Christmas is upon us. It's hard to believe that the year coming to an end.

Goodbye

JillyBean and Aunt Evelyn playing checkers on Easter

Beanie Dad's Great Aunt Evelyn died last night. She had been fighting Lymphoma for quite some time. While we are going to miss her very much, we feel incredibly blessed that she is leaving us now. When we saw her at Christmas she looked horrible. She was losing her hair, she was so frail and used all of her energy to entertain company. She turned 90 in early January and we believed that we would get a call at any time that she had passed. Oddly enough, Evelyn got a clean bill of health from her doctor about the same time my dad died. It was amazing news. We saw her at Easter and she looked like her old self. Then last week she began to take a turn for the worse and slipped away last night with Daddy's grandmother and mom at her side. Although she was in horrible pain this past week, she had four wonderful months and I am happy that our last memory of her is of her strength and spunk.

Evelyn reminded me so much of my grandfather. Ever the perfectionist, she was a fighter. She loved life and loved her family and wanted nothing more than to spend just one more day on this Earth. My grandfather was the same and I so wish that they could have met. They would have become fast friends.

A group of my good friends have formed a Relay for Life team, which supports the American Cancer Society. The team name is Moms on a Mission. Check out their page and consider giving them a donation to help fight cancer. Or you can purchase a luminaria in honor of someone you love. We know that Evelyn's spirit will shine bright for eternity.