Generational Bond

It's interesting that I tend to use certain cooking utensils for certain tasks and can never change over to something else. For example, I only allow my dough to rise in a particular glass bowl. I have one specific pan that I use for baking/roasting fish. I will only use the heavy aluminum pot my mom used to make fudge for sauce, chili and other hearty foods. And the only thing I will cook cornbread in is the iron skillet that belonged to my Grandmother Robbins.

There were only two things I wanted of my Grandmother's when she died nearly 10 years ago: her Bible and this skillet. Sadly we were unable to find the Bible she made notations in for much of her Christian life, but luckily I was able to use this.

My Grandmother was a product of the south and that means she was a great cook. As a kid I remember her making potato cakes and fried okra and fried corn in this skillet. I can smell it by just thinking about it. Needless to say the skillet is well seasoned, which probably accounts for the reason things I make in it taste so good. I have used this skillet to make fried chicken and pecan crusted catfish, but it is primarily used for cornbread. I am so thankful for this time of the year because it is when I make cornbread more frequently as an accompaniment to stew and chili, which we had for dinner Sunday night.

My Grandmother was also a woman of very strong faith. I recall waking up early in the mornings, before the sun had peeked up over the horizon, to the sound of her voice tearfully calling out to God. It was not a plea of desperation or a cry for help; rather it was her desperate cry to be closer to Him. I used to think she was sad but instead it was a joy filled cry thanking Him for all that she had and for always being with her - in good times and in bad. It was a passionate cry to her God that was more like an overflow of the love she had for him in her heart. It has only been in the past few years that I have truly appreciated that display of love.

Genesis 17:7 says: I will establish my covenant as an everlasting covenant between me and you and your descendants after you for the generations to come, to be your God and the God of your descendants after you.

And as much as I look forward to passing along my Grandmother's skillet to my daughter, my prayer is that the seed of faith that she planted grows even stronger through the years.

Planning A Meaningful Christmas

I am involved with a Bible study group that is reading Francis Chan's book Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God. It has been a powerful study and one that caused to me deeply examine my relationship with Christ. I don't think much in Chan's teaching has surprised me. I'm usually honest with myself in regard to my shortfalls. However, this book has highlighted those shortfalls even brighter. The underlying message of this book, for me, has been to change my perception of security and stop clinging to earthly goods in the hope of using them in the future.

We are more than halfway through the book and this week's discussion led several in our smaller group talk about Christmas. We talked about how we are so blessed to need nothing in the way of gifts. We talked about stripping festivities and traditions back to the basics. Several ladies discussed not exchanging gifts and placing more emphasis on the gathering of family. A couple of ladies said that what they remember most of Christmas are not the gifts but the gathering of family.

I have to be honest here because, well, that is not my memory. At least not when I was a kid. Sure, as I get older I can look back and appreciate the time with my grandparents, aunts and whatever cousins were around that year. Our holiday varied each year - one year with my dad's side of the family, the next with my mom's and the next at home with both families welcome to celebrate with us. If I think back to Christmas at my grandparents' home in New Mexico, I immediately envision the platters of Martha Washington chocolates my grandmother made the previous weeks. In Tennessee I remember driving up to Pigeon Forge to look at the beautiful lights and my grandmother's church family stopping by Christmas Eve to exchange gifts and to share dessert. The memories are different depending on location, but the one constant thing that is foremost in my childhood memory is waking up in the morning to see what Santa delivered. Whether it was a doll, rocking horse, kitchen set, the anticipation of what would be under the tree filled my head each Christmas Eve as I went to bed.

I wonder if our parents and grandparents had these conversations back then. Did they ever fret over doting on us so much at Christmas? What has changed? I don't believe that we are that much better off financially than my parents were when I was a kid. Are things just more accessible now? As for us, we don't buy Jillian much throughout the year. She may get a new book or game during the year, but the bulk of her toys are purchased for her at Christmas and her birthday. What Grandma and Nana send is another story, but as far as what we do, it's fairly limited except for those occasions. And the child does not want for anything. Still, I enjoy the opportunity to shower her with gifts when possible. It makes me happy to have the ability to do that for her.

What is so wrong about showering the people we love with gifts? God showered us with the greatest gift, that of the birth of his son Jesus Christ. I get that we should not become so consumed with our earthly possessions that we lose focus on our eternity and serving God. But does that mean we abandon the traditions that provide so many childhood memories? I love the opportunity to find gifts not that people need (because as mentioned, few of us really need anything) rather gifts that they wouldn't purchase for themselves or something that screams their name when I see it. I admit there are some people who are a struggle to shop for and I dread it and do so because it's expected more than anything, but overall I feel blessed to have the opportunity to do for others. I don't believe in quantity or cost, rather the simple gift that says to a person that I have been thinking of them.

As for how all this relates to my study, well it's that I have decided to become much more purposeful about what I plan to purchase for friends and family and how we give to those in need (which I will discuss in another post). My goal to make this a more meaningful and simple Christmas this year is to put more thought into why I am giving a gift. Is the purpose simply to go through the motions of what has become a tradition or is it to glorify God by showering love on the people in my life?

Peace Among Chaos

Psalm 46:10 tells us to "Be still, and know that I am God." It is in those peaceful moments - often times forced peaceful moments - that we are truly able to recognize God's power and majesty.

I will argue, though, that there are times we can feel a closeness with Him even when we're running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Yesterday is a glowing example.

It was one of those days where I thought I had everything planned out but it all went sideways. In my mind the day was perfectly planned: whip up a crock pot meal for a neighbor, quick trip to the doc, dive into the day's school lesson, have lunch, catch up on election results while Jilly naps, deliver meal, daddy home, dinner together. Oh, and let's not forget tending to the little second grade neighbor we watch after school. Still doable and manageable without stress.

A full but peaceful day.

Naturally things got off course a bit: decided to make an additional meal for sick neighbor, hosted a friend and her two daughters for a play date, blew off school, daddy's flight was canceled so didn't expect him home as early as hoped, entertained crazy neighbor kids, rushed to make our dinner, tended to Jilly's first hockey injury, squeezed in a little play time with Jilly and daddy after dinner, cleaned kitchen, prepped breakfast dish for MOPS, went to bed.

I will spare the details, but other than sitting to talk with my friend during the play date (which was periodically interrupted by hollering kids), I don't think I was still one minute of the day. However, I felt it was a peaceful day and a day where I was closer to God than any other this week.

I had the chance to serve Him by bringing comfort in the form of food to a friend. I got the chance to spend some time with a godly woman who I rarely get a chance to talk with. I watched three little girls pour out their sweet innocence through play. I experienced the opportunity to shroud my child with comfort and love after being hit in the mouth with a hockey stick. I had a natural flow partnership with my husband who stepped in to help brown sausage without being asked an in spite of traveling all day.

And all along I talked with God, asking what could happen next. Could I please have a moment to finish one task at a time? Instead, he shepherd me to the next adventure.

We naturally need peace in our lives to slow down and recognize the wonderful gifts we have received, but sometimes the pace needs to be picked up a bit to execute God's work.

Questions of Faith

JillyBean has been asking a lot of questions about God. I don't know why, but I never expected to get such questions at this age, though I don't know why since she asks about everything else under the sun.

Last week we were reading a book my cousin gave her for her birthday. It's a rhyming story book on the Book of Genesis and has great illustrations. We were reading the creation story and she pops up with: "Who made God?" I really didn't know how to answer but said something to satisfy her little mind. Today we had an exchange that went like this:
J: Mama, why did God make me?
M: Because He loves you and he needed you to love other people and to take care of the things He created.
J: But why does He love me?
M: Because He is your father.
J: No. God is Jesus' father. Daddy is my father.
M: Yes, that is right. But God is your Heavenly Father. He is the one who made you and gave you to me and daddy. He is the one who made you and who has a special plan for you.
J: (silent while thinking) So if God is my Heavenly Father then is Mommy Mary my Heavenly Mama?
M: No. She is just Jesus' mama.
J: Oh. Hey! Can we play Peter Pan now?