Helpless

A week ago I was riding in the front of an ambulance while my husband tried to console our crying child in the back. I have never felt so helpless in my life.

While on vacation at Bald Head Island, JillyBean fell off of a bench and broke her arm. My first thought was thankfully it was only an arm. But then when I heard her scream, I felt numb. My baby was in pain and there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn't even console her or hug her since Beanie Daddy had her in his arms and a transfer was not possible.

The whole scene seemed much more dramatic at the time than it does today. We were on an island, didn't have access to our car and needed to get to the mainland via ferry to get help for her. She was calm once we got to the hospital, which totally amazed me. She was especially excited to have a picture taken of her bones. What a champ. All the time I tried to calm the butterflies inside my stomach. The worse part was having to hold her down while the nurses put an IV in her arm.

As for the break, it's about as good as it can get if you're going to break your arm. She will be back to her old self in a few weeks, though you cannot tell that much has changed.

Looking back, though at the image of my baby lying in a hospital ER bed and hooked up to monitors is still upsetting. I am extremely thankful that we were there for a seemingly minor incident but can't help think of the countless moms and dads whose children have to deal with major illness or who experience a major injury. All my child was hooked up to was a blood pressure machine. She didn't have tubes to feed her, help her breathe or to relieve pain. How can these parents endure such a scene much less live with the knowledge that they basically live in a hospital?

This whole incident has prompted me to get involved with our local Ronald McDonald House. I believe that it is a wonderful resource for parents who are having to care for terminally ill children.

It is my desire to teach Jilly that is important to share the many blessings that have been given to her by God. It is the greatest lesson my mother taught, and still teaches, me and one that I want to see continue with my daughter. I believe that as she grows older, helping the families of sick children is something that she will easily understand. We are trying to get it in her head that she is a very lucky girl but not every child has what she has. She is still young and can't understand, but I believe that it is never too early to share the message.