Dinner Bell

A friend of a friend recently started a new blog that I am following. Bringing Dinner Back chronicles one family's goal to eat at least one meal together every day for 53 weeks. Their journey interests me because eating as a family is extremely important to me.

As a kid we almost always had dinner together; even during the years that I played softball and the week was filled with either practice or games. And both of my parents worked outside the home. My memories of the ritual are not all happy. In fact, I tend to remember shedding a lot of tears because my father would torture me by making me eat peas, lima beans, or some other nasty stuff. As an aside, I will not put a pea anywhere near mouth today, yet my child cannot get enough of them. Still, looking back, family dinner was important because no matter how many battles I lost in regard to the food I ate, it was a time that we were all together and could talk without distractions.

According to my husband, his mother read an article recently about parents who believe that children should "earn" their way to the family dinner table. The information from the article comes to me third hand, so I may be taking it out of its original context, but essentially the story said that some families make their children eat separate from the rest of the family until they learn the proper way to sit and act at the table. This idea appalls me. Since I view the dinner table as an extension of the family, I do not believe that anyone should have to earn their place in that family. Plus, how can a child learn the proper way to act at the table unless that child sees it modeled for them? I understand that some families have crazy schedules and it simply does not work to hold dinner, but no one should be cast aside.

The ritual is not always easy with a toddler. I am lucky that Jilly is a pretty good eater. I do not make it a habit to make a separate meal for her, though I usually include at least one thing that I know she will eat (I'm usually safe with peas and green beans). I admit that there are nights when she has gone to bed without eating dinner. I am OK with that because I do not believe that children will allow themselves to starve and that they go through phases when they simply aren't hungry at dinner time. However, I do break the rule and prepare something different for her when I'm in the mood for a dish I know she won't eat - like spicy shrimp creole.

Each Friday I compose a weekly menu, which is when I do my weekly grocery shopping trip. I make a list each week of what is needed for each meal along with staples (milk, bread, cereal, etc.) and buy only what is on the list, unless there is some super special (the store where I shop often has buy-one-get-one-free deals on meat so I'll buy even if it's not on the list so I can build it into a future menu). This can be a pretty daunting task over time. I tend to get bored with certain dishes but they're easy and I know everyone will eat them. It is also very hard to be the main person who sets the dinner agenda every single day of the week, every week of the month, every month of the year. But by doing this, we are able to wrangle our grocery budget and I'm not staring at the inside of the refrigerator at 5 p.m. each night trying to figure out what to make. The list is on the refrigerator door so even BeanieDaddy knows what to expect each night. It also keeps our household budget under control with fewer dinners/lunches out since BeanieDad doesn't mind taking leftovers to work. I buy fresh and usually organic vegetables, and we don't do prepared foods. Therefore, coupon clipping doesn't help much with the bottom line. Still, I get away with spending between $70 and $90 each week and that includes at least one meal with fresh fish.

My hope is that not only will Jilly be exposed to all kinds of food and develop a diverse palate but that dinner time is when we can connect as a family. I know that sitting down together each night may become more difficult as Jilly gets older and has her own social calendar, but hopefully putting this practice into place now will make it easier.